


Road to recovery

by DymphiStiles



Series: My Alex Rider Universe [3]
Category: Alex Rider - Anthony Horowitz
Genre: Brecon Beacons (Alex Rider), Recovery, SAS, Secret Intelligence Service | MI6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:08:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 36,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24439450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DymphiStiles/pseuds/DymphiStiles
Summary: Direct sequel to my two previous AR fics. Alex survived his ordeal in Mexico, but was severely harmed in the process. On top of that, the cartel is still after him. He goes into hiding at a familiar place, where he can slowly recover and think about his future. This is a bit of a fluff piece, but there is some action as well.
Series: My Alex Rider Universe [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1765003
Comments: 16
Kudos: 56





	1. Chapter 1

Alex opened his eyes when he heard a muffled curse. Without announcing that he was awake, he carefully shifted so that he could see the entire room. The man who had cursed was sitting with his back towards Alex. He seemed to have bumped his head. Alex slowly crept out of bed, not making a sound. He ignored his body’s signals that he was too injured for these movements. He crept towards the man, ready to attack, using the wall to hold himself up. When he was within range, he quickly took the man in a headlock.

“You’re dead,” he whispered.

“Haha, very funny, Cub. Let go,” Eagle said, pulling on Alex’s arms. “It’s too fucking early for this!” he moaned.

Alex let go, sinking on the matrass next to Eagle.

“You’re the one who signed up to join the army all those years ago. You should’ve known that they are some of those whackjobs who get up at the crack of dawn,” Alex schooled Eagle.

Eagle picked up a pillow and smashed it softly in the teen’s face. Alex almost stumbled backwards, off the bed. He barely managed to save himself.

Eagle smirked.

“Get dressed, kid, or you’ll miss breakfast,” he said. Alex smirked back and quickly dressed himself, before joining Eagle on his way to the breakfast hall. It was slow going.

He was at Brecon Beacons, the training camp that had been the start of his career at MI6. He was here recovering from the injuries he’d sustained in Mexico. Jones had made arrangements with his school so that Alex was allowed to take exams at the end of summer. He had almost two months of summer holidays. At a suggestion from his boss, he was going to spend those six weeks here. She hadn’t forced him to follow any of the trainings. It was basically summer camp for him, and he could use some of the time to catch up on his classes. Tom had been a great friend, as ever, and had kept notes for Alex. He was safe here, and he would be allowed to take his time recovering from the kidnapping and subsequent torture. The SAS psychologist on site had scheduled weekly meetings with him. She’d come to see him in the hospital as well and was fully aware of everything he had been through. Or at least as much as Alex had shared with MI6 during his initial debrief.

He was very glad to be out of hospital now. He’d spent a week in the hospital in Texas, before he was stable enough to be flown back to the UK. He’d spent another week and a half in a rehabilitation centre for soldiers injured in battle, though he’d been kept in isolation all his time there. Only his doctor and two nurses were allowed access to him. So, understandably, Alex was pretty glum after his stint in rehab. He was glad to be out in the open, surrounded by people.

Alex hobbled into the breakfast hall. He was using a cane to support his damaged leg. Every step that he took, hurt, but he never showed the pain. He simply wanted to work through it. Eagle made a plate for Alex, and the two of them walked over to the rest of the unit. Alex had been introduced to Bear, the man that had replaced Fox, the day before. It was only his second day here. Alex had arrived last night. This was the first time he’d been in this breakfast hall since he was 14. He had no illusions that he would be treated any different now than two years ago. Yes, he was older and more mature. But still way too young to ever be a part of the SAS. Some of his injuries were on display for everyone to see.

Obviously, they all saw the cane and the limp that accompanied it. Alex’s arm and shoulder were bandaged up. He was wearing a standard SAS uniform with short sleeves, so the bandages disappeared under the shirt. No one saw that they extended all over his torso and stomach area as well. Alex felt like a mummy. After breakfast, he was scheduled to go to the infirmary to change the bandages.

“Morning, sleepyheads. About time you two joined us,” Wolf said. He smiled at Alex. “I know you have summer holidays, but you’re still at a SAS camp, so no slacking.”

Alex gave him a salute and a “Yes, sir,” much to the amusement of the others at their table. Alex grinned back and started scooping up his breakfast.

The start of summer also indicated a new wave of recruits coming in. Some of them were fresh-faced. Others appeared to be older, more experienced, perhaps. But all of them were new recruits, straight from the British army. All of them had to pass selection in order to become a member of the elite SAS force. Currently, there were several seasoned units at Brecon Beacons. Their troop was preparing for long-term overseas training and after that a four-month deployment. These units, like K-unit, were allowed to leave on the weekends. Many men had families to return to. Wolf and Alex had already decided to stay at Brecon Beacons. The drive to London took too long. Jack had promised to visit a few times over the summer, staying in a nearby town for a weekend.

The first of the recruits started entering the mess hall. They didn’t attempt to sit at the table with the two seasoned units. They understood the rules. As long as they were recruits, they wouldn’t be friends with the SAS units.

Many of them looked at the seasoned veterans’ table, though.

“Looks like you’ll be the centre of attention again, Cub,” Cheetah said. He was the medic for L-unit, whose members were sitting at the same table as K-unit. L-unit had been there at Alex’s recovery in Mexico as well. They had worked alongside K-unit to retrieve Alex and hand been one of the units that stayed behind to clean up. Unlike K-unit, who had shipped out with Alex, this unit had seen the aftermath of the place where Alex had been tortured. They’d found pints of blood that belonged to Alex, dried on the floor and the walls of the torture chamber.

“Looks like it,” Alex sighed. With the cane at his side, he now had twice the reasons for people to be looking at him. His age and his medical file. He just couldn’t catch a break here, it seemed.

“Don’t worry, we’ve got your back, Cub,” Snake said. Alex looked at him and smiled, before continuing his breakfast.

“What’s on the roster today, Wolf?” Eagle asked. Wolf, as team leader, was always responsible for checking their unit’s schedule.

“Same as yesterday. Some fitness exercises. We get to show the recruits how it’s done.”

Wolf smiled. He loved showing off in front of recruits. He would’ve loved it even more if Alex could show off his skills, but the teen was in no shape to do so. Wolf’s smile fell a little as his eyes shifted to Alex. Alex looked straight at him. ‘I’m fine’, he mouthed, insisting. Wolf had made him promise to say something if he wasn’t feeling good or if he felt any pain. Any more pain than he already felt.

Alex’s unit sauntered over to the obstacle course after breakfast. Alex wasn’t allowed to compete, but he would assist the officer in charge of the exercise. The new recruits were already gathered in front of the obstacle course. Right on cue, as K- and L-units arrived, so did the commanding officer.

“Welcome to the SAS, gentlemen. I want you to take a good look at your left, and a good look at your right. Most of these men next to you will fail in the next weeks. Only 1 in 10 survives to become an SAS soldier. There is no shame in quitting. There is no shame in giving up. Only the best of the best join our ranks. If that is not you, then you should apply your skills to a place that can use them. The army has many positions that don’t require you to be the best of the best.”

The 200 recruits looked around, realizing that 10 percent meant that only 20 men would survive the rigorous training. Only four new units would be formed at the end of training.

“You will spend the next 8 weeks thinking they are the hardest thing in your life. They won’t be. We are merely preparing you for life in the SAS. As these men can attest, the rest of your career here won’t be a cakewalk. So when you feel like you cannot handle anymore, quit. Because it will only get harder.”

“He sure knows how to motivate people,” Alex whispered to Snake. Snake smirked.

“It’s important that they know very well what’s waiting for them. Being a part of SAS is not easy, and not many can handle it,” Snake replied. He looked at Alex.

“You know, when you turn eighteen, maybe you want to join the army? And then you could also apply to the SAS. See for yourself what all the fuzz is about,” he said. “You’ve done parts of our training. Some here, some, unfortunately, in the field.” He was referring to the torture that Alex had withstood mere weeks before. “But you’ve never completed a full training course here. I’m fairly confident that you would, though.” He smiled at Alex.

Alex mulled it over.

“I don’t know if this is the life I want. It’s why I was so adamant about getting my A-levels. I need to have options when I turn eighteen. I need to know that this doesn’t HAVE to be my future, if I don’t want it to be,” he said.

Snake nodded in understanding.

The officer had finished addressing the recruits. He was now looking at K- and L-unit, who had sprung to attention. Alex stood next to them, back straight, but not saluting. As an MI6 agent, he didn’t have to salute to the officer. Though he was wearing a SAS training uniform, he wasn’t SAS. The recruits had no idea who he was and why he wasn’t saluting, but since their commanding officer didn’t comment on it, they couldn’t either. Alex did get a couple of dirty looks and sighed. As K- and L-unit moved to the start of the obstacle course, Alex made his way to the officer.

“Cub,” the officer nodded. All of the senior officers had been informed of Alex’ presence at the camp, as well as the rough situation that had landed him here. No one knew the details of what had happened to Alex, not even the units. Wolf knew more than the others but was sworn to secrecy by Alex’s psychologist. She only agreed to keep him informed because of his relationship with Jack, which made him a pseudo-parent, and his place as unit leader.

Alex leaned on his cane as the units made their way through the obstacle course. It took about fifteen minutes to complete on a good day. The observation deck Alex and the officer were standing on, allowed them full view of the entire course. Later, when the recruits attempted to cross the course, K- and L-unit would monitor the course on the ground.

The well-trained units had no issues crossing the obstacle course. After all, they were preparing for a training exercise abroad. They were expected to be in perfect shape and finetuned to a T.

Alex could see how well Bear fit into the unit. It all went seamlessly.

The first batch of recruits was ready to complete the obstacle course. All of them were army trained, most had seen combat first-hand.

“What is the passing rate after these first few days?” Alex asked the officer.

“Hmm… roughly 60 percent fail phase 1. We lose most of the recruits during the beast, which is a timed march over very demanding terrain. People have died doing this. After phase 1, they go abroad for specific training. We’re sending them to the jungle in Brunei this year. Should be fun. Are you coming along?” he asked.

Alex shook his head.

“No, I have exams to prepare for and I need to use the time to recover. Plus, I don’t think I’m cleared to go off base yet,” Alex replied.

The officer nodded.

“I think you’d like it, though,” he said.

Alex smiled.

“Yeah, Snake said something similar earlier.”

“It’s not for just any reason we would say that, Cub. Many of us have seen what you’re capable of. If even half of the stories I’ve heard about you were true, then you’re an amazing agent. And knowing what you withstood these past few months,” he said, indicating the cane Alex was leaning on, “just goes to show what an incredible asset you are. If only you’d been a couple of years older, I’d have given MI6 props for finding you. They made mistakes in the way they handled things, but the results could not have been better.”

Alex almost blushed at the compliments. He shifted his weight a bit but winced when that brought on more pain.

“Woah, steady there, soldier.” The officer put a hand on Alex’ shoulder to keep him from falling.

“I’m alright,” Alex said, nodding to the officer in thanks.

They watched as the drill sergeant yelled at the recruits.

“They’re used to this part, or at least they’re supposed to be used to it. Lots of yelling in the army,” the officer commented. “Those who fail here, have no place in the UK’s military and it’s in fact a miracle that they ever got into this program. We rarely lose recruits during this part.”

Alex looked at the faces of the recruits. He could tell that they were uncomfortable but pushing through their discomfort in order to become a part of the elite SAS. He understood why many wouldn’t welcome him in the camp. As far as they were aware, he hadn’t withstood any of the rigorous training they were going through.

Then he noticed something. One of the recruits had a glint in his eyes. Alex could see his mental struggle from far away. That one wouldn’t last much longer, purely based on character.

“You’re losing one,” Alex commented.

The officer followed Alex’s gaze to the recruit.

“Hmm…”

Not even five minutes later, the recruit dropped to the ground without getting up. The drill sergeant started yelling at him in particular, getting him to stand up. The man didn’t get up.

“You have a good eye,” the officer told Alex. Alex simply shrugged.

“I could see it in his eyes. He was ready to give up,” Alex replied. “He’d never survive RTI anyway. Not if he gets that look in his eyes at this stage.”

The recruit finally rose to his feet. The drill sergeant not so gently told him to pack his bags and leave.

“Maybe you should consider a career as drill sergeant,” the officer joked. Alex smirked.

“I don’t think I’d ever be able to stomach that. I usually dislike those people. Can’t really see myself become one,” he said.

They looked on at the recruits in silence. After a while, Alex’ leg started to really hurt. He shifted his weight again, leaning against a pole. The officer looked at him sideways.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“It’s my leg. I’ve been standing on it for too long,” he said. The officer nodded, and to Alex’s surprise, called out to a nearby recruit.

“You! Find me a chair and bring it here!” he yelled.

The recruit saluted and sped off. Within three minutes, he returned with the chair. Alex gratefully took it and sat down. The relief was instant. The officer nodded at the recruit, who returned to the training exercise.

“Thank you,” Alex breathed. He gently rubbed his leg, silently cursing the weakness. The officer didn’t respond, he merely nodded his head in acknowledgement.

The drill went on for two hours. Alex paid attention all the time. Each time a team managed to cut down on their time, he went over their movements in his head. By the time the drill was almost finished, Alex was confident he knew the best ways to get past each obstacle. He’d learned a lot through simple observation.

“Comfortable, cub?” Wolf smirked when he saw Alex sitting on the chair. Alex decided to forgo military protocol and whipped his middle finger at Wolf. It earned him a few laughs from the rest of the unit, and to his surprise, from the officer who had seen the obscene gesture.

“He’s all yours, Wolf. Though I don’t know what you did to have him act so disrespectful towards you. It must be his instincts,” the officer said with a wink to Alex.

Alex nodded his head at the officer, and then used his cane to get up. It was obvious that he was in pain, though. Snake quickly sidled up to him for support. Alex looked at him gratefully.

With Snake’s help, he hobbled of the platform. His cane provided much needed support, and Snake let go once they reached the ground.

“Oh man, I hate this,” Alex whispered under his breath, thinking no one would hear. Alas, Snake’s super ears had caught it.

“You’ll be fine, Cub. Soon, you’ll be able to get rid of the cane. Your leg will heal. The rest will as well.”

Alex knew he was referring to his state of mind. While the therapy helped, he was still very subject to his surroundings. He had trouble being alone, but he also didn’t like strangers. He definitely hadn’t been here long enough to get to know everyone, so his mind was still in a state of vigilance.

“Sooner rather than later, I hope,” Alex replied sulkily.

“You can’t rush healing, Cub. That’s why you’re here; so we can keep an eye on you. In a couple of days, we’ll start with your physical training again. In the meantime, focus on your therapy and yourself. That’s what’s important right now.”

“I know. And I like my therapist. She’s just… she’s very confrontational. She wants me to relive every second of what I’ve been through.”

“I know for a fact that that’s not true, Cub. She wants to help you, but you keep shutting down on her. And on yourself. How are you ever going to get better, if you don’t talk about how you’re feeling?”

“But that’s the thing. I feel fine!”

Snake looked at Alex, not believing him for a single second.

“No, you don’t. You can’t feel fine. Not after something like that.”

Snake hesitated.

“Honestly, Cub? You’re scaring us.”

Alex looked at Snake, surprised.

Snake explained. “You act like you don’t feel bad, or sad. But you don’t feel happy either. You don’t allow yourself to feel anything. I think that’s scary.”

“So you’d rather I cry, and act out? Because that’s what I’ll do if I allow any of those feelings to come to the surface.”

“Yes, Cub. I do. Think about it. Talk about it with your therapist. You don’t have to show your feelings out here. But at least do it with her. And if you don’t want any of us to know something, we will never know. She allows me and Wolf access to your file, but only those parts you choose to share with us.”

Alex nodded, mulling this over.

“Fine.”


	2. Chapter 2

Alex was pulling on a loose thread at the bottom of his shirt. He'd watched it unravel for a couple of seconds, pulling it out further and further. Anything to keep from looking up at the person expecting him to talk.

"Alex? Do you want to answer my question?"

No, he didn't. He sighed.

He was going to. He'd promised Snake to open up more to his therapist. Apparently, Snake had mentioned this to her as well.

"Why don't you want to talk about your experience, Alex?" she repeated the question.

Her voice sounded soft, never judging. Alex really liked Laurel, his therapist. But liking someone didn't mean you wanted to talk to them. Especially not if they asked questions you didn't want to answer.

"I don't know," Alex finally said. It was a lame answer, and he knew it.

"Come on, Alex. You can do better than that."

He sighed again and looked up at her.

"I guess..." he started. "I guess I'm scared."

"Scared of what?"

He shrugged again. His therapist patiently waited for him to say more.

"Of having to relive all of that."

"I understand that Alex. I can't imagine what you have been through. But I need you to know that you are safe here. No one can touch you."

Alex finally looked her in the eyes.

"That's not true," he said. "They're always here."

He touched his head.

"That's true. And they always will be. I can tell you that you'll forget, but you won't. What I can do, is help you accept it. And teach you how to deal with all of those feelings. I know it can't be easy."

Alex huffed.

"That's an understatement", he said.

His therapist smiled.

"Okay Alex. I want to do an exercise with you, just to get a better idea of where your thoughts are going. Sound good?"

Alex nodded. She always asked for his permission to do something, and never made him do anything he didn't want to do.

"Alright. As you know, from our short talks about this already, I believe you are suffering from at least a minor form of PTSD. There's no way you weren't impacted by everything you went through. I'd like to work with you on cognitive behavioural therapy. It will not fix your PTSD. Nothing can fix it. This is something you will have to live with for the rest of your life. However, it will help manage the symptoms. Now, I know there's a lot stigma involved in the word PTSD. You might think you don't even have it. So for this exercise, I'd like to start by listing anything that points to PTSD. If you're experiencing any of this, simply nod."

Alex swallowed. Everything she had said so far made sense.

"Flashbacks."

Alex's mind immediately went back to waking up in an unknown place. Getting beaten. The bright light. Getting shot, twice.

He swallowed again and nodded. Definitely flashbacks.

"Loss of sleep or nightmares."

Again, Alex nodded. He'd definitely had some nightmares. His night routine consisted of usually lying awake for several hours, only falling asleep around 3 am and then waking up in a sweat around 6 am. He averaged 3 to 4 hours a night.

"Anxiety."

This time, Alex didn't nod. He wasn't really anxious. But that might have to do with the fact that he was still on high alert after his mission, and the unknown territory he was in now.

"Jumpiness. Like with loud noises, or when someone surprises you."

A nod. He was a little jumpy, especially when someone touched him out of the blue.

"Lack of appetite."

That definitely wasn't the case. Alex was hungry all of the time, and he was definitely eating well.

"Temporary blindness, deafness or muteness."

Alex hesitated.

Laurel did as well.

"Alex?" she questioned.

He sighed.

"Sometimes… sometimes I have these small panic attacks. I pull out of them pretty easily, but for just a second, I am completely unaware of my surroundings. I don't think anyone really notices them, because I have it under control. But... yeah, it happens sometimes."

She nodded.

"That's okay, Alex. Thank you for telling me. How about we tell Wolf about this, so that he can keep an eye on you and make sure you're never stuck in one of these panic attacks? Because you say you're in control, but you know just as well as I do that it is very easy to lose control over something like that."

Alex nodded. He trusted Wolf. But…

"He can't touch me, though. When someone touches me and I don't see it coming, especially if I'm sort of, away, you know? I can… lash out. I don't want to hurt him."

"Okay, that's fair. Is there anything he could say to you that would bring you back?"

Alex raised his shoulders. He didn't know.

"Alright. We'll figure it out as we go along, okay? We don't need to have all the answers right now. I can tell you this. You might not exhibit all signs of PTSD, but that's definitely not necessary to diagnose you with it. From what you just told me; I know enough. And Alex," she said, making sure she was looking him in the eyes so he could see the truth there, "knowing a diagnosis means we can treat it. Or at least attempt to. This is a good thing. But I can't heal this over the summer. It might take months. It might take years. And I want you to know that it is okay not to be okay. I want you to be able to tell me when you're not okay."

Alex nodded.

"Alright. That was a pretty heavy session today. I will review everything we've worked on today, so we can start a treatment plan. One that will continue when you resume school. Sound good?"

Alex hesitated, furrowing his brows.

"What's wrong?" his therapist asked.

"When I go back to London, will I need a new therapist?" he asked.

Laurel smiled.

"No, Alex. I don't think that would really help you. I've already said that I will make the commitment to travel to London once a week, to see you. I have a colleague in London who will allow me to use her office for our sessions. It's all sorted already. Don't worry about that. Worry about getting better. Deal?"

Alex gave her a little smile.

"Deal."

"Alright. We go as fast or as slow as you need to go. But we will start digging into your memories next week. However, we don't even need to talk about the recent events. We can talk about whatever you want to talk about and go from there. And by then, I will have prepared some specifics in order to help you work through everything. See you next week, Alex."

She walked him to the door.

Before leaving, Alex turned back to her.

"Thank you", he said sincerely. She gave him a smile.

"No Alex, thank you."

He didn't know what to do with that, but luckily his therapist shut the door on him with a smile still on her face.

Wolf was waiting for him in the waiting room. He looked and stood up when Alex approached.

"How was therapy, kid?" he asked.

"Fine," Alex said. "Laurel said she'd keep you updated. She'll call you later."

Wolf gave Alex a nod, and they proceeded back to the training field.

"What's going on the rest of the day then?" Alex asked.

"We've got a couple of training exercises. So, to keep you busy, you get to assist again. Maybe give some of the recruits some pointers." Wolf winked at him. Alex smiled. It did make him feel good that the current SAS, or at least those who knew him, would defer to him before any of the recruits.

"Alright. So what's the training?"

"We're doing a tactical run tonight. It's in different large groups. We can't take 200 of them at the same time, so the recruits will be divided into four groups. Two groups will each be dropped at a location, and, in various smaller units, they have to find their ways back to base. The other recruits will be doing runs on the obstacle course, as well as training in mountain climbing and on the shooting range. Tomorrow, we switch the groups. Since you're not very mobile, we figured you could assist with everything on base here. Our unit is going to help out in the field, so you'll be stuck with support staff today."

"Thank god," Alex replied. "I'll be glad to get rid of Eagle for a day!"

Wolf laughed.

"Maybe I should ask Eagle if he wants to stay behind, look after you. I'm sure he'd do that for you!" he smirked.

Alex shot him daggers.

"Don't you dare!" he whispered, as they came closer to K-unit's cabin.

Wolf simply laughed, leaving Alex to eye him suspiciously as they entered the cabin.

"Cub, Wolf," Snake nodded as they passed. The three men were all relaxing. Snake was reading a book, while Eagle was catching up on some sleep and Bear was on a phone call.

Alex looked at Wolf.

"We're allowed phones here?" he asked.

"You aren't," Wolf explained. "Any contact with the outside world is forbidden for you. According to public record, you are dead right now. As long as there's still a price on your head, let's try and keep it that way, shall we? Recruits aren't allowed phones either. We are, though we leave them behind with our civilian pack when we leave the base. And some of us have families, you know. Bear's married, he has two kids. He calls them as often as he can, and usually goes home on the weekend. Eagle's got a fiancé that wants him home occasionally. Snake's single at the moment, so he's got no one to call." Wolf smirked.

"Speak for yourself, you twat!" Snake joked.

"Excuse me, I'm very much taken, thank you!" Wolf replied indignantly.

"Whipped you mean," Alex added.

Snake, who had just taken a sip of water, spat it all out. The noise woke up Eagle.

"What's going on?" he asked, noticing Wolf's glare at Alex, who couldn't contain his laughter, and Snake's wet bed.

"Nothing," Wolf grumbled.

Snake shook his head at Eagle, the last of his laughter visible on his face.

"Cub? Everything alright?" Eagle asked. Alex was bent over now, the laughter gone.

"What's wrong, Alex?" Wolf asked immediately.

"I'm okay. I'm okay, it's just... laughter hurts, you know."

He had a hand on his ribs, carefully holding his side.

"Do you need any more morphine?" Snake asked. "Maybe you should go by the infirmary, make sure everything is still okay."

Alex nodded, slowly sinking onto a bed with Wolf's help.

"I'll go later. I'm a bit tired, actually. Is it okay if I just sleep for a while?"

"Of course," Wolf said. "We'll leave you for a bit, so you can have some peace and quiet around here. Let's go, lads!"

Bear, who had hung up his phone the moment Alex was in pain, followed the others out the door. Before shutting the door, he looked back at Alex. He was sitting on the bed, lifting his shirt to look at the bandages. Bear saw the red and blue welts on his entire torso and stomach. Alex carefully picked at the bandage, assuring that it was still in place. Feeling Bear's eyes on him, he quickly looked at the door. He gave Bear a reassuring smile, before the latter closed the door to leave Alex alone.

A couple of hours later, Eagle came to get Alex, who seemed to be stuck in a nightmare. Alex didn't call out or make any sudden movements, but Eagle could tell that something was bothering him because of the frown on his face and the drops of sweat all over his face.

"Alex?" Eagle asked softly.

At the merest sound of Eagle's voice, Alex' eyes shot open. His body didn't move an inch, but in an instant Alex was alert and awake. It took him a few seconds to realize where he was and who woke him. At that realization, Alex's body relaxed slightly, allowing him to breathe more easily.

"Are you okay?" Eagle asked.

Alex took another few seconds to catch his breath.

"I'm fine," he whispered. He took a deep breath before slinging the blanket from his body and sitting up. Eagle lingered at the foot of his bed. Alex rubbed his eyes and put his hands through his hair before slowly getting up. Eagle handed him his cane, which had been resting at the edge of Alex's cot.

"We're about to leave for the night exercise. You missed dinner, but we asked the chefs to put something aside for you. Just head to the kitchen and they'll heat it up for you, no questions asked. Why don't you take a shower first?" Eagle suggested.

Alex looked completely worn down. Sleeping apparently hadn't done him any good.

"You good?" Eagle asked for the second time.

Alex sighed.

"Eagle, I'm recovering from trauma. Sleeping isn't exactly my favourite activity at the moment because I don't like it when my brain isn't alert. So I'm as good as I can be. I'm trying," Alex almost bit off.

Eagle backed up.

"Okay, Alex. That's fair," he said.

Alex sighed again, already regretting his small outburst. But he wouldn't apologize for it.

"I'm going to take a shower," Alex said.

Eagle nodded, watching Alex hobble out of the cabin. He looked back at the unruly bed. It would never happen on an army base if Alex weren't here. Beds were supposed to be made perfectly. Alex knew that, and usually complied with those rules. Eagle noticed the stain on his sheets. Most of them were soaked with Alex' sweat, and it seemed like Alex had bled through his bandages. Eagle picked up the sheets and threw them in a bin. In a cupboard in the cabin, there were more sheets. Eagle picked some of those out and remade Alex' bed with clean sheets. The unit had been doing this since Alex had arrived, changing his sheets almost daily because of the blood stains and the sweating. Alex had to know of course, but had never acknowledged it. Eagle figured he was maybe too embarrassed. Or maybe he just didn't care. It was probably that.

Eagle looked over the room again. It looked fine now. All beds made, everything stored away in an orderly fashion. He checked his watch and realized he'd have to run to make it on time. He hoped Alex wouldn't skip dinner.

Eagle ran across the base to where his unit was waiting with the recruits.

"Eagle! What took you so long?" Wolf hissed at him. They hadn't let the recruits know that they were waiting for Eagle, nor that he was late.

Eagle shook his head.

"I'm not coming Wolf. I don't feel comfortable leaving Cub behind. I'll stay with him," Eagle stated.

Wolf hesitated for a second, then nodded.

"Alright, if you think it's necessary, then stay with him. We all know he can use the extra company. Keep in touch, Eagle," Wolf said, pointing at his radio. Eagle nodded, fiddling a bit with the buttons on his own radio.

He looked on as Wolf rounded up the recruits that were waiting. The other half of the recruits would get a bit more sleep tonight, as they only had exercises until midnight. But they would have to undertake the gruelling trek tomorrow, after another day of little sleep and more exercises.

Eagle watched them all depart, before heading towards the kitchen, where he hoped to find Alex.

He wasn't there. His meal had been left untouched.

So Eagle went to the cabin. But it was exactly the same as he had left it. Eagle didn't think Alex would shower for this long but headed to the showers anyway. Not only was Alex not there, Eagle didn't think he'd even taken a shower. There was no water on the ground or any dampness in the room. This had him slightly worried. He stood in front of the showers cabin and looked out across the camp. Where would Alex go? Perhaps the infirmary. Eagle knew from seeing Alex' bed that he'd bled through his bandages. On the way to the infirmary, Eagle got a hunch. Instead of continuing to the infirmary, he took a path to the lookout point. Brecon Beacons was in an area with various types of terrain. Wales offered some beautiful but rugged landscapes. Eagle had always loved coming back to this particular training camp. And he thought, perhaps Alex was looking for some solace. That can be found quite easily up in the mountains. Eagle was just worried because Alex wasn't in peak condition. Or any condition at all, actually.

His intuition had been right. Captain's lookout was one of the most beautiful lookout points near the Brecon Beacons military base. It was a trek of about two hours to get there. Eagle was only 10 minutes in when he caught up with Alex, who was very slowly making the climb.

"I thought you'd be leaving with the others," Alex said, slightly out of breath.

"Something told me I should stay behind. I guess I was right," Eagle said.

Alex didn't respond. Instead, he simply pushed his cane further into the ground and carefully took another step.

A part of Eagle wanted to stop the kid, making him go back to the camp and rest a bit. And the other part of him realized how futile that would be. If Alex set his mind to something, he would go the distance.

Instead, Eagle simply turned on his radio, quickly radioing base that he was taking a trek with Cub and that they would be gone for several hours. After getting confirmation, he shut off his radio and joined Cub.

It was very slow going. Eagle had attempted to help Alex a couple of times but Alex had brushed him off every time. The trek that, for a regular person, took two hours, quickly turned into three hours. And then four. Cub was out of breath, hissing through his teeth with every step he took. Eagle had given up on helping him. He simply stayed behind him, following his tempo. He was impressed. They had been going for hours. Cub had not once sat down, nor had he said a word. Not to complain, not to make conversation. He was just very adamant about doing this, one step at a time.

And all Eagle could do was follow him, making sure he could catch him if he went down. He didn't.

After a gruellingly long trek, they finally reached the lookout point. They could barely see anything, as it was getting to be quite dark. But that didn't matter. There was a bench at the lookout point. Alex simply passed it and went straight to the railing. He leaned his cane against it, crossed his arms, put them on the railing and then put his head on his arms.

Completely exhausted and in pain. Yet he was laughing.

Eagle for sure thought he'd lost his marbles.

"Cub?" he asked.

Alex lifted his head, looking at Eagle, a big smile on his face.

"What?" Eagle asked.

"I just did that," Alex replied. When he saw Eagle's confused face, he explained further.

"When I was captured, I didn't think I'd make it out alive. As far as I knew, I had no allies in Mexico. I was on my own, and I wasn't getting out on my own. So I was going to die. I had made peace with that. And then I was rescued, and I was hanging somewhere between being dead and alive. And I made it through that. And then I was shipped here. And still, everything felt like it had this… finality to it. I still didn't feel like I was in control, like I was deciding to live. It was still other people deciding that for me. But Eagle, I just did this. I climbed this mountain. On my own. And I made it," he said. He looked out over the mountain range again.

"I made it", Eagle heard him whisper to himself. Eagle was smiling now as well.

Alex had finally taken back control over his life. He had finally decided himself that he needed to live, and that was a decision he had to make himself. It was a giant leap forward in his recovery process.

"Yes you did, kid. Yes you did", Eagle said.

Eagle stood next to Alex, looking out over the mountains, the setting sun basking everything in a golden glow. And that's exactly how Alex felt in this moment: golden.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: there is talk about torture in this chapter, but no actual torture.

"Are you sure you're up for this, Alex?"

Wolf used his name, showing Alex that he wanted a true and honest answer from the teen. Alex took a deep breath in and nodded.

"Yes. The best way for them to learn is to know the truth. RTI is important."

Alex was about to assist in a lecture teaching the importance of RTI and how to apply it. The lecturer was a former SAS officer, who had been imprisoned in Afghanistan over a decade earlier. He walked towards Alex and stuck out his hand.

"Officer Owen Randall, nice to meet you," he said, shaking Alex's hand.

Alex hesitated.

"To most I'm Cub. But… Alex Rider, sir. Likewise," he said with a nod from his head. He wanted the officer to know his name. He didn't know why, it just seemed important.

The officer nodded, and then he also seemed to hesitate, his eyes flicking to Wolf.

"Wolf, nice to see you again."

"Randall, pleasure, mate," Wolf replied, shaking the man's hand. They were obviously friends.

"Randall was my first army instructor," he explained to Alex. "No one calls him Owen, only his wife does," Wolf joked. Alex smiled.

He felt Randall's eyes flicking to his cane, before catching his eyes.

"Alex… I know I don't have to tell you that this isn't going to be pretty. Right now, it's just the lecture, which is mainly theory. In a few weeks, we'll find out what information they've retained when we test them in the field. Are you absolutely certain you want to be a part of it?"

Alex nodded.

"Just the theory, though. I will be watching the training session from the monitors. I have no desire to be part of the RTI practical phase in the field. I'm very well acquainted with that one," he grimaced.

Randall gave him a sympathetic smile.

"Okay. I'll be giving the lecture. Interrupt me any time you want if you have any information to add."

Alex nodded at that. He sat down on a chair on the first row, together with Wolf. The rest of their unit was on a night exercise with the other units. Since they were acting as one unit, Wolf was allowed to be absent. The other unit leaders would look after his men.

Randall lectured for roughly an hour. Alex never once interrupted, not feeling the need to. The theory of RTI was something that didn't really change. And there was no way to truly prepare for torture or interrogation scenarios. Randall had said that at some point as well.

"If you have any questions, now is the time. Because later on, we will be asking the questions. I prefer that all of you know what you're stepping into, here," he finished. Randall nodded at Alex to join him. Alex used his cane to right himself and walked over to Randall. He turned around to face the recruits.

One of the fresh-faced recruits raised his hand.

"Yes?" Randall indicated.

"What are your experiences with RTI?" he asked.

Randall nodded his head.

"A little over 13 years ago, I was in hostile territory. My unit and I were captured by enemy insurgents. As unit leader and squad leader, I was singled out. We were in captivity for two weeks. They mainly left us alone, but occasionally took one of us out of the group. That's how I lost this baby."

He lifted up his jeans, revealing a fake left leg.

"Near the end, one of my men had started talking. He was killed soon after. We were all set to be executed when our government made a deal. And we were released soon after. But I will assure you, not one man in my unit was the same as before we were captured. Torture can do cruel things to a man's mind and body," he concluded. The recruits were hanging on every word he said, some of them nodding along as he told the story.

Some had been in the sandbox. They knew the hostile territory Randall was talking about. Perhaps some of them had been in similar situations. It was unlikely, but possible.

"We were also extremely lucky. Two weeks is not that long, and the brass upstairs won't make deals for everyone. Especially not so soon. Some soldiers who are captured spend years being prisoners. Some never return. As a member of an elite army service like the SAS, your missions are higher risk and thus contain a higher risk of capture as well. You're often privy to more information than a regular soldier, and your enemies know this."

The recruits contemplated this. After about a minute, another hand flew up in the air.

"What's his story?" the recruit asked, pointing at Alex.

Randall looked over at the teen and gave him a nod.

"What I am about to say is highly classified. I know all of you signed the OSA when you entered training. I would like to remind you that this falls under the same contract. Everything said in this room does not go further than this room. It doesn't go to the bar, it doesn't go to your rooms. Any questions you have can be answered here, and here alone," Alex started. He took a deep breath before continuing.

"Who I am and what I do is classified. I can't tell you that. A few months ago, I was sent abroad for a simple mission. It was a trap and I was captured. I am wanted by several terrorist organizations, but this one was an internal affair. It's not yet wrapped up, so I can't really talk about it. But the orders came from some people in our own government. You might have heard there are some changes happening right now. It's all related to my case."

Alex looked around the room, seeing a couple of heads nod. Part of being a SAS soldier was keeping in touch with current events, both in the UK and abroad. He'd expected them to know this and was glad to see that there weren't many confused faces.

"They were the ones who set the trap for me. They wanted me gone, for reasons that I cannot give here. When I was captured, my captors interrogated me for information.

I spent almost a month with them. By the end, they'd left me to die. Luckily, I've made a few friends along the way,", Alex looked at Wolf, "who were eager to find me. They were just in time to save my life."

The room had quieted at that. Alex could see them do calculations in their heads, trying to determine how old he was. He could see the wheels spinning behind some of their eyes.

"How many missions have you been on?" a recruit asked.

"I can't say that. I've gone up against many bad people, let's keep it at that," Alex answered.

"Have you ever failed, sir?"

Alex looked at the recruit that had asked him.

"That's hard to say. I've failed to gather some intel before, but I've never truly failed a mission," he said.

A murmur went through the crowd of recruits, but Alex felt like they hadn't understood what he meant.

"I haven't failed a mission yet," he repeated. "Because if I had, I wouldn't be here."

The recruits quieted down, all focused on Alex.

"If you lose, you're dead. It's that simple. You only lose once."

"What did they do to you?" one of the braver recruits asked.

Wolf stood up, almost as if he could protect Alex from even hearing the question. Alex motioned at him to sit down.

"I was captured while trying to get away. They shot me in the leg, which is why I couldn't run anymore. Hence, the cane. They patched up the wound, but the circumstances were really bad, and I got an infection. I'm lucky I still have my leg, but I'll be walking with a cane for quite some time.

During the interrogation, they used a lot of the techniques you've seen here. They started with some physical torture, beating me up for a few days. They used techniques like sleep deprivation and time disorientation. For the longest time, I had no idea where I was or what was happening.

You might think that you'll be fine, that you are strong enough. But it takes a special sort of distancing. It's very difficult not to lose the sense of who you are when you're in captivity. They strip you from your identity. As you've just learned, there are three things you are allowed to reveal when tortured. Your name, your rank, and your serial number. I don't have a rank or serial number, so all I could ever say was my name. I refused to do that.

My calling card is not the wisest there is. It really is better to just shut up and not say anything. I enjoy insulting those who seek to wrong me. But it will bring more pain, so I strongly advice against it."

"Then why did you do it?" Randall asked. He had been listening very intently to the teen, not missing a single word.

"Because it was what kept me sane. Part of my identity, part of my cover, is that I'm an annoyed teenager. It's what people expect, and it's exactly what I'll give them."

Randall seemed taken aback by this answer.

"So you maintained your cover through a month of interrogations?" he asked incredulously.

Alex shook his head.

"That's not my cover, that's just me. A cover is never more than a name and history. Everything else is me. I might dumb myself down every once in a while, pretend that I know less than I actually do. But I remain myself."

"Wait…," one of the recruits interrupted. "You said you remain yourself, yet your cover is an annoyed teenager. How is that you?"

Alex almost rolled his eyes at this question.

"How do you think?" he countered.

The recruit's mouth opened, but nothing came out.

"Cub is a teenager. I'm not allowed to disclose his age, but it's fair to say he's a bit younger than all of you here," Wolf intercepted. "And probably ten times as experienced."

Alex could read it on all of their faces. Disbelief. Recognition. Respect.

He wasn't sure what to do under the scrutinizing eyes of the recruits. He eyed Randall, who took the cue.

"Alright, that's it for now. Soon, you will leave on the training abroad. When you return, we will continue your RTI training. I suggest all of you study the theory. It's better to be prepared, even though you can never truly be prepared for something like this."

"When the time comes, I will monitor the training throughout, and Cub will assist me. As you now know, both of us have experience with RTI. If you have any issues, problems, concerns, speak to one of us. You will all receive a safe word that you can use if it gets too much. However, using your safe word means you fail. So think long and hard before using it. It will be the end of your career at the SAS."

"You did really well, Alex", Randall said. He was sitting with Wolf and Alex in the cafeteria. They were the only ones there at the moment. The other units hadn't returned yet, and the recruits would eat at a later time.

"Thanks," Alex blushed, which didn't happen often.

He hesitated a second.

"How did you deal with, you know, coming back?" Alex asked him.

Randall smiled.

"Not well. For a while, I wouldn't accept any help. I figured I could handle it on my own. It was actually my wife who helped me see. She presented me with an ultimatum one day: get help or lose her and the kids. I hadn't realized my behaviour had become so bad. I was suffering from major PTSD, but simply wouldn't accept it.

It took her threatening to leave for me to finally accept help."

He looked at his wedding ring and smiled.

"I wouldn't have had my son if I hadn't pulled myself together. He was born two years after that moment. I will forever be grateful for Mary. She gave me way too many chances, and she stuck with me until I was strong enough to fight for myself again."

Alex almost had to wipe a tear away. Randall's story sounded incredibly close to how Alex felt. Thinking about possibly losing Jack again, or Tom, or even Wolf. It made Alex want to be alive even more.

"Alex will be fine," Wolf said, looking at Alex, smiling. "He's already survived a lot; he can handle whatever is next."

Alex appreciated Wolf's confidence in him.

"Don't underestimate the power of the mind, Wolf," Randall interjected. He turned back to Alex. "Don't be afraid to ask for help, Alex. I know you have a natural ability when it comes to all of this, along with probably years of training to enhance that ability. But the mind can be just as fragile as the body. And you've probably put up a lot of walls to get through being captured and tortured. I know I did. It took years for all of them to come back down. Don't waste years of your life, kid."

Alex nodded. He knew exactly what Randall was talking about, sensing his own discomfort with getting too close to others.

One of the cooks was now approaching their table.

"Here you go, Cub," he said, giving Alex a wink. Alex had bribed the cooks yesterday to cook him something nicer whenever no other units were around when he was eating.

"What is that?" Wolf asked indignantly, staring at the plate of delicious looking Indian curry. "Why does that look like it was actually cooked, not sucked out of someone's ass?"

Alex snorted.

"They took pity on me, and to be honest, they were really eager to show off their cooking skills. We're actually turning it into a competition, to see who's the better cook," Alex said in between bites. He looked back to see if the cook was still standing close. He'd gone back to the kitchen, luckily.

"Just between you and me though," he whispered to Wolf and Randall, who was still smiling at Alex' antics, "it's going to be a tie between all three of them. I can't afford to disappoint any of them or they won't keep it going for the rest of the summer."

Wolf huffed.

"Hmm… I'm taking this up with the commander. No way he'll approve of it."

Alex smiled when he put a piece of chicken in his mouth. The herbs in the tikka masala sauce truly made it a mouth-watering dish.

"Actually, he already knows. He's fine with it as long as I bring him some dessert every once in a while!" Alex winked.

He finished his meal, put a finger through the bowl to clean it out completely, just for good measure, let out an "aaah" and returned the bowl to the kitchen. He heard Wolf grumble something behind him.

"What was that?" he asked, turning around.

"Nothing!" Wolf bit back. Randall was nearly in tears.

"Oh, this has been fun. I only wish I could stay longer!" he exclaimed. He shook Wolf's hand, and then Alex's.

"If you ever need to talk, just get in touch. Wolf has my details, he can pass them on to you", he told Alex. "And we'll see each other again in a couple of weeks, right?"

Alex nodded at the kind gesture. "Thanks", he said.

Just as they were leaving, some of the units returned from their exercises. They all looked exhausted, but alert. Some muttered greetings to Alex and Wolf, who returned them.

"I think I could actually get used to being on this base," Alex said.

"Sure you could, with privileges like that," Wolf grumbled, but Alex caught Wolf's mouth lifting, showing that it was all in good fun.

The next couple of days existed out of more trainings. Alex was going to PT every other day, and some of his bandages had been taken off now. He was still using the cane, but he hobbled around a bit easier now. He spent most of his time studying, though. The commander had given Alex a private room at headquarters of Brecon Beacons. Occasionally, someone would come sit with him and help him out. Wolf did so most often. Eagle helped out with Alex' science classes. He explained everything a lot easier than the textbook did, and Alex always looked forward to his lessons with Eagle.

He also deviated a bit from the general instructions in Alex' book, like telling him how mixing certain chemicals would create explosive substances, or gasses that could knock people out. It surely made chemistry more interesting.

All in all, Alex was pretty satisfied with spending his summer in Wales. Jack phoned every week. And Tom… Alex had talked to him only once, when he was still in the rehabilitation centre. He decided to call him again. His friend deserved an update, though Alex was certain Jack had kept him well informed of his progress.

"Alex! How are you?" Tom yelled through the phone.

Alex pulled the phone from his ear, cursing.

"Didn't I tell you once to not yell into a phone?" he asked Tom, who was audibly laughing at Alex' discomfort.

"Gotta keep you on your toes, don't I?" he rebutted.

"Hmm", Alex grunted.

"So, how are you?" Tom asked.

"Better, actually. I'm still using the cane of course, and not everything has healed yet. But I'm okay, I guess," Alex said vaguely. He didn't really want to talk about his injuries, so he turned the conversation back on Tom.

"What are you doing this summer?" Alex asked.

"You'll never guess!" Tom replied ecstatically.

"Playing videogames?" Alex guessed despite what Tom said.

It stayed quiet on the other end.

"Seriously, Tom? How would I never guess that? It's literally all you do!" Alex joked.

"Well, it's not just playing video games. I've actually gotten into streaming. I've worked Saturdays and Sundays at Mr Turner's grocery store, and I finally managed to save enough to buy a decent computer and recording software. So I've been streaming gaming on Twitch. It's fucking brilliant, Alex! People are actually paying already to watch me play!" Tom exclaimed.

Alex was glad for his friend. He sounded really excited.

"That's awesome, Tom! I'm really happy for you!"

"Thanks, mate! When are you getting back?"

"End of summer, hopefully right before school starts. I don't want to miss anything," Alex added.

"It sucks that you're stuck there. Do they at least let you go out?" Tom asked.

"No. I'm not really allowed off the base, unless it's for therapy. But it's fine, the base is big enough to explore."

"I can't wait for you to get back, Alex. We're gonna have so much fun next year! I guarantee it! Scout's honour!"

Alex laughed.

"You've got no idea what that means, you've never been a scout!" he said.

"Whatever!" Tom replied.

Alex hung up. He was glad Tom was keeping himself busy. Now it was up to Alex to make sure he could keep up with his friends when he got back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the early reviews! Keep reviewing, it's very inspiring and really helps as motivation to write. Also, the new Alex Rider tv series is out on Amazon Prime. Go watch it!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter can be seen as a bit of a timelapse, it's mainly short snippets of Alex' life and progress on the base.

Alex watched as the recruits hauled their sacks up in a truck, ready to move off base. Wolf had explained it to him. The next part of their training was more of a physical workout. They would go and train in Scotland for 2 weeks. It would be gruelling fitness activities. Here, they would really take out those who would never make it in SAS purely based on physicality and mental duress.

"So what's the training like over there?" Alex had asked K-Unit over breakfast.

"It's gruesome", Snake explained. "It really tests your physical and mental state. They drive you completely mad and see if you'll crack under the physical pressure. It's lots of hours in the water and running around. There's some tactical thinking involved, and they'll likely start forming some alliances there. When we were in training, me and Wolf formed an alliance pretty quickly. Fox joined us after realizing that Wolf was one of the best leaders out there, and he would have no trouble following his orders. And we picked up Eagle along the way. He was one of the recruits who stood out because of his physical durability, and his impossible character", Snake smirked.

Eagle let out a sigh.

"Yeah, those two weeks were pretty horrific. But I ran my first marathon when I was sixteen. I'd been training as a triathlete for several years before joining the army. So I was pretty well prepared when it came to endurance. But I was falling behind on tactical decision making. So when Fox approached me and told me I could join their merry band of brothers, I jumped on the chance. There were a couple of others with us as well. They're in different units now, but we still hang out with them outside of base."

He paused for a second.

"In the beginning of this training, they tell you that it's you who has to make it through. You know, no one else will do it for you. Which is true. SAS training is very much based on individual strength. But it's also based on the power of being in a team. But they can't tell recruits that. That's something they need to figure out themselves. Being part of a team, part of a group, that's what gets you through training. After the two weeks in Scotland, whoever is left gets formed into units. Mostly, that's the units like us. They get reformed a bit as people fail, but if everyone gets through and all members agree, that's your unit for the rest of your career as far as that's possible. Of course, K-unit was supposed to be all the same members for the next 10 years, but Fox was approached, as you know, by Intelligence. So that's why we had to train a new guy into our unit", Eagle said, nodding at Bear. "Luckily for us, that wasn't too hard."

Bear smiled at Alex and continued the conversation.

"After Scotland, they take all recruits that are left abroad for another period of training. That additional training takes about a month and is mainly focused on adapting to a different terrain than we're used to here in the UK. I'm pretty sure you've already been told, right?"

"Yes," Alex replied. "Brunei, right?"

Bear nodded.

"It's always somewhere else," Snake added. "The terrain, the circumstances, the surroundings… they're always different. Sometimes, seasoned units will go with the recruits to train as well. We've had similar training exercises, always on different terrains in different countries. It's good for bonding between different units, and it also sharpens your skills in a less hostile environment. But we cannot forget, every time we go abroad, we're in hostile environment. We are Special Forces. Not many countries enjoy seeing us coming and exploring their countries. That's information that, at any point in the future, could be used against them. So those are carefully cultivated relationships. It's getting more difficult now as well, since some countries have lost faith in the UK."

Alex mulled over all this information. He stored it away, knowing that at some point in his life he might need it.

"And those who come back?"

"They're the ones who are 90% sure to make it. After the physical and mental endurance, tactical decisions, and group work, it's back here on base. And that means RTI and specifically targeted practice. Meaning night runs with your unit, making decisions that could tank your entire units training… stuff like that. It's only one more week. Then they have to take individual and team exams, proving that everything they've been through and everything they've learned has actually stuck with them. It can still go wrong at that point, as you know," Wolf added.

He referred back to the time Alex interrupted their training and they treated him bad, but ultimately resulting in him saving Wolf's career.

Alex smiled. He remembered it well.

"Outside in five minutes!" the sergeant yelled across the breakfast hall.

The soldiers scrambled to get their last bites of food in their mouths, quickly swallowing and cleaning the tables. Technically, Alex could take his time. But he followed the others out, as fast as he could. Basically, he stumbled out. The units would leave a few hours after the recruits left. They were following them to the training grounds. After the summer, the units were set to go on a four-month mission. This training was of utmost importance for them. They needed to be in peak condition.

Alex was going to miss having them around. The base would be practically empty, except for some of the base staff and the occasional soldier on leave who spent his leave on base.

"Atteeeen – tion!"

Alex watched as the recruits were lined up, snapping to attention. Backs straight, all eagerly listening to their sergeant.

"Today we will leave for off base training. You think the Welsh weather is bad? We're going to Scotland now. It's raining up there, the water is freezing cold, even in summer. This will hurt, this will test you. If you do not want to be here, this is the time to speak up. Because once we are training, we will make you want to quit. And it will not be pretty."

None of the recruits moved.

"Alright then. Pack your bags and get on the truck. Let's get a move on. Go! Go! Go!"

The recruits packed their bags and jogged to the waiting trucks, all getting in. And then the trucks took off, taking the recruits on a fifteen-hour journey to Scotland.

K-unit and L-unit watched quite leisurely as the recruits were yelled at. But as soon as the recruits were gone, they snapped into action. Swiftly and with obvious experience, the two units gathered all the materials they'd need. It took them about half an hour, loading all training materials that would go to the recruits' location into a truck.

The units then loaded their own stuff into a different truck. Because they were already seasoned SAS, they had the privilege of catching a train to Scotland, not having to endure a 15-hour drive.

"Where do you go now?" Alex asked Wolf.

"Well, we're driving up to Liverpool, taking a train to Glasgow. Then we go further north, into Scotland. There's a military base on an island off Skye. It's quite rigorous terrain, perfect to test the recruits' endurance. We'll mainly be playing adversaries, assisting military staff on the night ops and sea training."

Alex smiled.

"Sounds fun," he said, a little sad.

Wolf patted him on the shoulder.

"Someday, we'll let you go through the full training as well. Make you an honest member of the SAS", he said.

Alex smirked.

"Honest? I don't think any amount of training can erase the training MI6 put me through. I'll never be an honest man", Alex laughed.

Wolf smiled.

"Maybe not", he said.

Quicker than Alex realised, the men were all ready and set to go. Wolf quickly hugged Alex goodbye. The rest of K- and L-unit gave him a quick pat on the back or a quick wave, before they all jumped in the trucks and sped away.

He watched the trucks take off. He felt a pang of jealousy. He wanted to leave this place too. But he wasn't allowed and that irked him to no ends.

Alex was, quite literally, left standing alone in the mud.

\---

Two weeks had passed since the recruits and the units had left the training base in Brecon Beacons. Alex had used the time productively, catching up on his classes and religiously tracking his physical progress. He was a lot more mobile now, sometimes choosing to abandon the cane. He was slowly starting to train again, trying to get his fitness levels back up. The camp's underground was too soft and unsteady for him to properly run on. He had asked permission to leave the base so he could go for a run.

One of the support staff on hand was assigned to join him on his runs. His name was Deacon. He was around 45 years old and an ex SAS soldier. Now, he was mainly on administrative duties and sometimes he'd lead weapons trainings or martial arts trainings. He was still in great shape, as he sometimes participated in marathons. Alex enjoyed running with him. Deacon never felt the need to talk much, so they mostly ran in silence. They couldn't run very fast or very far yet, as Alex' wasn't up for that. But they usually put in a couple of miles before calling it quits.

Alex was also almost finished with his classes. He still had a few weeks before he had to take his exams, but he was already confident he would pass them. If nothing extraordinary happened of course.

But really, boredom had set in. Alex was ready to push his body to its limits again but didn't have the all-clear yet. So he had found nothing better to do than to explore the Brecon Beacons base camp.

\---

Alex knew he had nowhere to go. He'd stupidly entered a building that had no backdoors. The windows were rusted shut.

There were few places where Alex couldn't go on this base. This building was one of them. Naturally, it was one that Alex was most keen to explore. He'd found it a dull building, with only administration offices. It had been empty when he'd entered. But now he'd heard someone coming, and he wasn't supposed to be here.

Voices were echoing down the hall, growing stronger with every passing second. He knew he didn't have long. He looked at the only place left to look: up. Somehow, his brain had made the connection. The building had a low roof, but the rooms were square boxes. So that meant this place had an attic, or at least a crawlspace.

It looked like he was right. Using a chair and one of the windowsills, Alex was able to reach the panels in the ceiling. He gave it a push and… yes! It gave way. He carefully placed his hands on the edge of the panels. There was no time to verify if the plates could hold him. He quickly pulled himself up, flattening on the boards and placing the missing plate back.

He lifted it slightly so he could see the men who passed by in the corridor. They didn't even look in the room Alex was currently perched above. But he wasn't going to take any chances. He was right to wait. A little bit later, the men returned. Of course they hadn't realized anyone was in this room. Alex had erased all of his footprints. He waited ten more minutes before he deemed it safe enough to get down.

Unfortunately, lying in the rafters for twenty minutes had slightly cramped his legs. When he landed on the ground, his bad leg almost crumbled under the sudden impact. Alex gritted his teeth. He was ready to be done being weak.

From now on, he would focus all of his attention on regaining strength and agility.

\---

"You crawl over the ropes, up until the midway point. Midway, you drop from the ropes, holding onto the left one. Then, using your strength, pull yourself back on the rope. Right arm over the rope, swing your right leg back over the rope and crawl over to the other side of the cliff. Got it?" the instructor asked.

Alex was wearing a helmet and safety harness. One of the instructors that was still on base had taken pity on him, and for the past few days, he had taken Alex on several adventures, doing parts of the SAS training the other soldiers had to go through. It was all in good fun, and Alex wasn't being sleep deprived while they were doing this. But he was very grateful. These were skills he could use in the field, and at the same time he could strengthen his mind and body. Because this exercise took a lot from both. It was mental and physical.

Two ropes were attached to two cliff sides, each 25 meters apart. Recruits had to use both ropes to get to the other side. In the middle, they had to drop and pull themselves back up, and then continue on only one rope. Because in the field, anything could go wrong. It was important to be able to think quick and act quicker. Alex wasn't in any real danger, because there was a secondary rope where his harness was attached to. But still, the sheer drop beneath them was enough to put anyone in a mental blockage.

Alex got on the ropes. They were spread apart quite wide, and Alex wasn't very tall. But he managed. Carefully, he shuffled the first two meters. Those were still above the ground. Now, he could see the 30 meter drop below him. He forced himself to look forward. Slowly but surely, he made his way to the middle. He needed to use all of his muscles to keep his balance and he could feel his body tense up. It felt great. He finally felt like he was capable again. His shoulder throbbed, but it throbbed with a good kind of pain; the kind he could bite through and come out stronger on the other end.

"Drop now!" the instructor, Jax, shouted.

Alex had reached the middle. He dropped from the second rope, hanging onto the other one with only his hands. His mind flashed back to his mission in Kenya, and out of instinct, Alex lifted his legs as if the crocodiles were right underneath him.

"Alex!" Jax yelled, having seen Alex' reaction.

That grounded him. He looked back at the instructor, and then back down to his feet. There was nothing but air underneath him. No crocodiles, no river with deadly animals in it.

He let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

He swung his legs and within a couple of seconds, he had regained control. He was back on the rope and was now pulling himself towards the edge of the cliff. Two other instructors were waiting for him there, pulling him in as he reached the end.

"Good job, Cub. You did well," Deacon said as he pulled Alex to safety and unbuckled him.

"What happened in the middle?" the other one asked, curious.

Alex looked back at the ropes, a little ashamed of his reaction.

"A couple of years ago, I was in Kenya. There was this man who wanted to kill me, because I had discovered his plans. He made me hang over a river. There was no way out but down. Except the river had crocodiles. Hungry ones. My arms didn't have that much strength in them, and I was going to fall to my death. The only thing I could do was hold out as long as I could. And then I was rescued, right on time."

"Jesus Christ. What happened to the man?"

Alex smirked.

"I blew him up. He deserved it."

At this, the instructors started laughing.

"I would say this is weird, hearing you talk like that. But we've seen what you're capable of, and it's not like we wouldn't have done the same. Hell, I blew more than one person up back in the sandbox."

Alex felt a strange sense of comradery with them, as they bonded over the fact that all of them had blown people up. It was strange. His classmates would think he was insane. Anyone would think that. But not these guys. They were army, they were SAS. One of the most elite fighting units in the world. Of course they had done stuff no one else could imagine. Alex was grateful he wasn't the odd one out here.

"Let's go, Cub. We've got a couple of miles to go back to base, and it looks like the sky's about to burst open," Deacon said. Already, they could feel light drops of rain on their faces.

Alex grunted as he ran alongside the trained SAS soldiers. Their condition was better than Alex's, even if he wouldn't have been injured. But Alex had a lot of mental grit.

The run back to base was over rough terrain, and it had just started raining harder. But none of it bothered Alex. He was keeping up with these Special Forces men. The rain pelting down on them only reinforced one thing for Alex: he was alive. And somehow, running through the mud, in the rain, on the Welsh countryside, Alex started to laugh. He hadn't felt this good in a long, long time.

He got some strange looks from the soldiers, but it didn't bother him at all.

All of a sudden, he felt lighter. And he sped up. The soldiers maintained his tempo, switching into a higher gear. Alex's feet hit the ground at lightning speed. He could see the outline of the base. His mind went pleasantly numb, pushing out all thoughts and feelings. It was just him, the air going smoothly in and out of his lungs, the earth beneath his feet.

He came to a stop in front of his cabin. After K-unit had left, he'd been moved to the officer's quarters, which had single rooms.

"Jesus, kid. I'm not a medic, but I think your leg has healed up," Jax joked, slightly out of breath.

Alex smiled. It wasn't healed. In fact, it throbbed like hell right now. But it still felt like good kind of pain.

"It's alright, actually," Alex replied.

"Rest up today. You've done really well," Jax said, placing a hand on Alex' shoulder. He had another bullet wound there, but it barely bothered him. Funny, how fast Alex' body seemed to heal.

"Tomorrow, we'll do some abseiling if you're up for that. We can also do some training on the shooting range."

Alex nodded, said his goodbyes to the other men, and headed in. Inside, he took off his trousers and checked his leg. It looked a little red, but that was normal. He rubbed some salve on it, feeling the instant relief of the cold medicine.

After taking a shower, he went off to the mess hall. He'd gotten really friendly with the cook. There was only one left now, the others had joined the moving recruit force. The cook that was left was the main chef. He'd been here for years. He was a bit chubby, but Alex saw how strong he was. He was also ex-military. And thanks to Alex's deal with him, he could show off some of his excellent cooking skills. He was good company to have, and he made plenty of jokes about Wolf and Eagle. Come to think of it, that might've been why Alex enjoyed his company so much.

Soon, K-unit would be back. So would the remaining recruits. Alex was very curious to see which of them had made it. He'd gotten in on an initial bet Eagle had started. Everyone who got in had chosen two recruits who they thought would make it. Alex had bet on two men no one else had bet on. Everyone else had bet on obvious ones, but Alex always had a soft spot for the underdogs. He would find out very soon whether Eagle would go running with his money or not.


	5. Chapter 5

_*Brunei, somewhere in the middle of nowhere at an undisclosed location*_

The jungle was unforgiving. Wolf felt another drop of sweat run over his back. The humidity in the air made it even worse.

"Get in the water! Now!" the drill sergeant yelled.

Wolf was standing beside him, eyeing the recruits carefully. He was here with his own unit, to train alongside the new recruits. Of course, their training was kept separate from the recruits. After all, they didn't want any recruits who couldn't make it through selection to find out exactly how seasoned units trained. But now his men had the day off. The others had chosen to lounge at base. Wolf had made himself useful. He wasn't really one to sit still. So today he'd accompanied the drill sergeant and directing staff on the training.

"Fully submerge yourself! What are you doing, recruit? Get in the fucking water!"

Wolf wanted to smile but kept his face stoic. Once upon a time, he had been one of those sad, miserable recruits. Though he had loved every part of basic training. Well, almost every part.

"I can't," the recruit wallowed.

"Get over here," the sergeant said.

The recruit stumbled towards Wolf and the sergeant.

"Do you want to VW?" the sergeant asked. The recruit shook his head. He gritted his teeth and got back into the water. The sergeant bellowed at him again. This time, the recruit stayed in the water, pushing through his exhaustion.

VW, or Voluntarily Withdraw. This was when the recruits couldn't handle it anymore and decided to quit themselves. Many had already done so in Scotland. The training there had been rough. Scotland was always very cold and wet. There were now only about thirty recruits left. It was the last day of their tour in Brunei. Tomorrow, everyone was shipping home. And the staff were giving the recruits the toughest drill of the jungle. If any of them were not up to the task, this drill would push them over the edge.

A few hours later, that drill was done as well. It was official, now. Thirty-four soldiers had made it through to the final part of SAS selection. None had dropped out at the last level of the jungle. The men who had made it through were some of the strongest soldiers in the UK. But they had one more part of training left. Only few could handle RTI.

"Good job! Take tonight to rest up as much as you can, because tomorrow we are going back home. And that's where you'll meet your final test", Wolf said to the exhausted recruits, who still managed to stand at attention.

Wolf nodded at them and walked away. Behind him, he heard some of the recruits embracing each other, crying tears of exhaustion and joy at making it through some of the most gruelling parts of the selection. He smiled. Whoever thought elite soldiers were stoic men who never cried, had obviously never seen anyone get pushed to the edge of their abilities.

Wolf wandered back to the encampment of the seasoned units. He found Eagle and Bear at their makeshift bar, drinking cool beers. His smile grew.

"Ah, Wolf! How's the training going?"

"All done now! I see you got started without me!" Wolf accused them.

"That's on you, my man," Bear said with a devilish smile. "Should've stuck with us on clean-up duty, instead of volunteering to play in the mud." He offered Wolf a new beer.

Wolf took a sip, savouring the cold liquid sliding down his throat.

"Damn," he exclaimed. "That tastes good."

He looked around.

"Where's Snake?"

"Med bay," Eagle pointed with his beer. "Someone twisted their ankle or something like that. The doctor already left this afternoon, and it wasn't worth taking to hospital I guess."

Just as Eagle finished the sentence, Snake arrived.

"Did you all seriously start drinking without me?"

Eagle grinned.

"Sorry, chap," he said, not sorry at all. He handed Snake a beer and the four men gladly sipped the cold brew in silence.

"I'll be glad to be home. It's been a while since I've had someone waiting for me," Wolf said.

"I haven't told my kids I'm coming home. My wife's going to film their reaction as I pick them up from school," Bear said, smiling.

"How do you think Cub's doing? Last time we saw him, he was still barely mobile," Eagle wondered.

"I think you'll be surprised at how far he's come in such a short time," Wolf said. "I talked to Jack the other day and, while she hasn't seen him, he sounded very positive over the phone. Apparently, he's back to working out with some of the guys on base, and he's even done parts of our training as exercises."

Snake shook his head.

"Incredible. Most adults would have had to wait at least two months to start any kind of exercise again. He's already up and running around again."

Wolf shrugged.

"Well, we know Cub. Did anyone not expect this?"

Bear lifted his hand and the others laughed. Eagle clasped Bear's shoulder.

"Don't worry, you'll learn fast enough," he smirked.

After finishing their beers, the four men sauntered back to their huts and packed their bags. Tomorrow morning they were going home. All of them looked forward to it, for various reasons.

The next morning, bright and early, saw Wolf, Snake, Eagle and Bear boarding a military plane, along the remaining recruits and the other units that had been training in the area.

Late at night that same day, the plane touched down on UK soil. The four men said their goodbyes to each other and left to greet their families. The recruits were being hauled back to the training camp at Brecon Beacons. The units would follow suit in two days, after spending some time with family.

_*Brecon Beacons, Alex Rider's current residence*_

The bustling of activity woke Alex. He groaned, flipping over, desperately reaching back for that blissful sleep. With another groan, he stretched, kicked his sheets of his legs, and sat up. He wondered what exactly had made him wake up before his alarm.

Half a second later, his brain caught up with him. He heard the noises coming from outside. Lots of people, and at least one drill sergeant, were up at this ungodly hour. And then he remembered. Today, the recruits returned. They must have gotten back late last night. He hadn't heard them arrive, but he was sure they'd gotten a lot less sleep than he did.

He got dressed quickly. His cane was now permanently left behind in his room. His leg still ached sometimes, but he refused to rely on the cane.

As he got outside, he noticed how much the recruits' numbers had dwindled. He scanned their faces and grinned as he saw the two he had bet on had made it through Scotland and Brunei. Eagle owed him money. That is, if both of them managed to get through the next couple of weeks. Alex had faith in them. More than that, he had faith in his own instincts.

Before heading to get breakfast, he swung by the medical bay. He was almost bandage free by now, but still needed regular check-ups. A single bandage was still wrapped around the wound in his leg. A surgical scar marred his leg now, but the doctors had said that it would heal up nicely. He flexed his muscles in his leg, and to his surprise, felt no pain.

Today would be a good day.

After breakfast, he joined Deacon for a run of base. After they returned, they stretched on a field near the mess hall. From there, they had a vantage point to see what the recruits were up to. They were just awarded a break to go get an early lunch and were walking in his direction. Deacon bumped fists with Alex before leaving to go do his duties. Alex didn't have anything planned for the afternoon, so he figured he could get some reading in, or maybe join the recruits for a while.

"Cub, right?" one of the recruits said as he approached Alex.

Alex nodded. The recruit stretched out his hand.

"Fox," he said. Alex's eyebrows jumped in surprise at hearing the familiar animal name. But then again, of course, the fox he knew was known as agent Daniels now.

"Nice to meet you," Alex said.

"Join us for lunch?" Fox asked. Alex hesitated for a second, but then nodded. He was a growing boy after all. He could honestly eat a horse.

"So how was the jungle?" Alex asked. Now it was Fox' eyebrows that jumped up in surprise. Alex tried to hide his smile at the comical sight.

"You know where we were?" he asked.

Alex nodded.

"Not exactly, because it's obviously classified. But I know enough," he added.

"Well let me tell you, it was some of the hardest shit we've ever been through," Fox said.

"I thought about quitting every day," one of the others added.

"Why didn't you?" Alex asked.

"Because I believe this is worth it. I believe in our mission and defending my country," he said. Alex thought he sounded quite patriotic. He wasn't sure he'd give the same answer, but he respected them all the same.

As they sat down at a table, Fox spoke again. He directed himself to Alex.

"You look good, Cub. I know we don't really know each other, but when we first saw you here, you were a mess."

Alex smiled. He had indeed been a mess.

"Honestly, I feel like everything about you has changed. You're a different person. I thought you were a bit of a joke until that RTI session, and then I … well, I don't know what I was thinking then. But now, I can see it."

Alex shifted uncomfortably. This Fox seemed to have an equal sense of perception as Daniels. Perhaps the nickname Fox was cursed, and every single one of them ended up trading to MI6.

"Well... I am a month older now," Alex joked, trying to lighten the mood. The others laughed, and someone started telling a story about one of his kids. Alex breathed a sigh of relief. He never liked being the centre of attention.

He occasionally felt Fox' stare on him but ignored it. If this Fox made it through selection, perhaps he would talk more in-depth with him. No need to form connections with people he'd most likely never see again.

He decided to do some reading that afternoon. He enjoyed being by himself. He also gave Jack a call, who sounded happy.

"Is Wolf there?" Alex asked, a smile forming on his face.

"Yes, he got back early this morning. Well, technically, late last night. But whatever, you know!" Jack stumbled.

Alex laughed.

"Here, I'll hand him over," she said. Alex heard her talking to Wolf, before Wolf's rough voice came through.

"Hey Alex, how are you doing?"

"I'm good. Itching to go home, though."

"I get it. I know the feeling all too well. Soon, Alex. It won't be much longer."

Alex sighed.

"I hope so. When are you getting here?"

"Tomorrow. And then the last part of selection takes place. After that, I'm shipping out again."

Alex nodded. The life of a military man was never easy, he knew that now.

"I'll see you soon, Alex. Take care," Wolf said.

"I will," Alex promised. "See you soon."


	6. Chapter 6

Alex sat behind one of the monitors that was linked to all the cameras recording every aspect of the SAS camp. Wolf was sitting by his side, as well as officer Randall. The recruits had just been hauled out of their beds.

"Alex, you know you don't have to watch this, right?" Wolf said tentatively. He didn't think the youngster was ready to see this.

Alex was tempted to leave, but it was pure pride that kept him in that room right now.

"I said I'm fine," he said harshly. Wolf backed off. Alex had been doing really well in therapy, so it could very well be that he was up for this. Alex' therapist had told Wolf that they had discussed pretty much everything that had happened to Alex. She'd been shocked to hear the extend of it, but she'd told Wolf that Alex had done really well.

They watched the first recruit being interrogated. The interrogators started off with waterboarding. Alex swallowed a few times when he watched it, but it was bearable.

Wolf barely glanced at the monitors. His eye was on Alex the entire time, taking in his reactions to the images on the screen, mentally ticking off what Alex had been through. Waterboarding, check. Getting beaten up, check.

10 recruits were held in a room, hands behind their backs. They were wearing black hoods over their faces.

Interesting, Wolf thought. Alex didn't flinch at that one. They didn't hood him for any of the torture.

That's when the beep came. It was time for disorientation. Wolf knew it was coming, he had done the training after all. After being hooded, you lost all sense of time and direction. The noise was to make you slowly lose your mind. It was imperative to stay focused. They'd been taught several techniques to withstand this type of torture, so the recruits performed quite well.

But someone else wasn't. Wolf had noticed Alex' ragged breathing, and he watched the teenager's eyes go out of focus.

"Turn off the monitor," he said quickly to officer Randall, who did so instantly. Wolf stood in front of Alex, trying to get him to look in his eyes.

"Alex, look at me. You're safe now. Look at me! Alex."

He tried to remain calm. Alex's therapist had explained that under no circumstances they could touch Alex when he was having a flashback. The touch would enforce Alex's built-in reflexes, and he would strike to kill at that moment. The guilt of it would hurt him more than any torture someone else could bring him. So all Wolf could do was keep talking to the youngster.

"Alex, you're okay. Listen to my voice. I wasn't there with you in Mexico. You're not there anymore. You're safe. You're home. Alex, can you hear me?" he asked.

Slowly, Alex blinked and focused on Wolf's face. Wolf hesitated, then put his hand on Alex' shoulder. The teenager flinched but didn't freak out. He focused on getting his breathing under control. Wolf kept talking softly to him.

"Alright, that's enough for you. You're not watching any more of it," Wolf decided.

"No, I can do it," Alex complained.

"I know you can but you're not going to. And that's final," Wolf said.

"No, I want to –"

"I said no," Wolf interrupted. "As your captain and as your guardian, I say no."

He wasn't officially Alex' guardian, but he had made several promises to Alex' guardian, so he would act like he was. Jack had made him promise something that, a few months ago, he wouldn't have even considered. She'd made him promise to put Alex's life first.

Alex's life had always been a priority, but Jack had demanded more.

She wanted Wolf to put Alex before military command. Wolf had realized that if he wanted to be a part of their lives, he needed to make that choice.

He'd made the promise.

It was pretty much equal to saying yes to marriage. They weren't there yet, but his relationship with Jack had taken a big leap after he'd promised to put Alex first.

Alex finally relented. He and Wolf stood up at the same time. They heard officer Randall turn the monitors back on while leaving the hut.

"I don't understand why you wanted to watch it, anyway," Wolf said. Alex sighed.

"I don't know… I guess I wanted to know that they hadn't broken me. That I could've handled more," Alex explained. "But now I know that they did, I guess."

Wolf shook his head.

"They didn't break you. Do you want to know how I know?"

"How?"

"Because you're still walking around. You keep your head held high. You don't flinch at every single sound. You talk about your wounds with Snake. You laugh with Eagle. You punch Bear every chance you get, just to annoy the guy. And you tell me the truth, every single time. You are stronger than I've ever seen you, despite everything that happened. Or maybe because of everything that happened. I'm very proud of you, Alex. Not many soldiers would still want to watch people get tortured after having been through it themselves. Hell, half the soldiers I know refuse to take part in or watch RTI training. Let alone talk about interrogations in front of a whole bunch of recruits. You've earned a lot of respect from a lot of people around here."

Alex stopped and looked at Wolf. He was close to crying after what he said.

"Thanks," he said with a small smile, shrugging his shoulders. Wolf put his arm around Alex.

"You're going to be just fine, Alex. Take your time to recover. You'll start school again soon. It'll be your last years before uni, so you should be able to enjoy it fully. Do you want my recommendation? No more missions for the rest of the year. Take the time to be a teenager, before it's gone. Go to parties, break some rules. I'll even ground you if that's what it takes," Wolf smiled.

"Tss, you'd have to catch me breaking the rules first. I am a spy, after all," Alex boasted.

"Oh yeah? Two can play that game, you know?" Wolf laughed. He rubbed Alex' head, who tried to dodge Wolf's hand.

"I am serious, Cub. I don't want you to do any more missions. You need to stop. It's not healthy anymore," Wolf said.

Alex didn't look at him.

"I'm not sure if they'll let me retire. But you're right," he said. "I should be able to enjoy my last year of school. Plus, my A-levels are really important. I think Jones might actually let me off the hook for once."

The two of them headed back to their barracks. The rest of their unit was playing cards. By the time they got there, Alex had calmed down. There was no sign of the panic attack anymore, aside from the fact that they'd returned earlier than foreseen.

Snake looked up briefly from the card game, but with a nod from Wolf, he focused again.

"Deal you in?" he asked, his eyes still on the game.

"No thanks," Wolf said. "I've lost enough money with that stupid game."

"I'll play," Alex said.

This made Snake look up from the game.

"No. No way, you're too good at this. You'll clean us all out," Snake said, shaking his head.

"I'll go easy on you. And who knows, I might've gotten a bit rusty. I haven't played in a long time," Alex replied innocently.

"You never stop playing, Cub. Your whole life is a game of poker," Eagle butted in.

"Come on, it's not like I've got much else to do. I don't feel like studying and I've been lying in bed for way too long already. Please?"

Snake relented. He grabbed the deck of cards and dealt them.

Wolf watched the game unfold from his bed. He pretended to be reading a book, but he was way too invested in the outcome of this game. Somehow, he always had his money on Alex. It wasn't just a safe bet, but the way Alex played was simply mesmerizing. Wolf wasn't a chess player, but he knew enough to know that Alex would excel at it. Because he was always two steps ahead.


	7. Chapter 7

"Alright Alex, try some of these stretches," his physical therapist Jane said. She had been working with Alex for the past couple of weeks, slowly trying to fix his body. She was confident that he would have no lasting physical burdens from the torture. He felt himself getting stronger every day.

"Push your leg towards the outside. Like that, yes."

Alex's muscles screamed at him, but he didn't mind. He preferred working out and being in pain, over just being in pain and feeling weak. This time, the pain was strengthening. He was pushing himself further and further, once again looking up the limits of his body. And his physical therapist was there to make sure he didn't push past his limits.

He was nearing the end of his stay at Brecon Beacons. Soon, school would start and he would be expected to start his A-levels. Alex had missed the national exam period, but MI6 had arranged for him to be able to take them in summer. And he had passed with flying colours, despite his missed classes. When Jack had asked him which A-levels he would take, Alex had surprised her with his choices. History, Government and politics, law, and physical education. Four subjects that would definitely help him be a better spy. Alex had also mentioned offhand that, if he made it to university, he would study something in international relations, or maybe diplomacy. He was sick and tired of being sent to places he knew nothing about. He was eager to be more prepared for what could be waiting for him, as well as put connections in place in case he needed an emergency extraction, or the help from locals.

Jack had been unsure about his choices. Alex was smart, he'd proven that. But now, it seemed he had set his future with MI6 in stone. Alex had tried to explain to her how he felt, but she hadn't understood. So he went to Wolf and had shown him his plans for the future.

"Jack, she just doesn't understand. She thinks I should keep my options open for something other than MI6," Alex had said.

"She worries about you, it's normal," Wolf had answered. But he had been more supportive of Alex' choices. "I get it," he'd added. "You've always relied on the fact that people underestimated you. And now you're at a point where you're physically stronger, you're taller and growing up. Soon you will be considered an adult. An adult exuding experience. No one can look at you and deny that you have been through something. And I don't mean just the scars either. It's in the way you walk and talk and act. It takes some men years to get others to follow their lead. It takes you minutes. And people would walk through a fire if you ordered them to."

Alex had smirked and shaken his head.

"I don't think anyone would walk through fire for me," he'd laughed.

Wolf hadn't. "I would," he'd said. "And you know it. Or at least subconsciously. Otherwise you wouldn't have picked courses that would make you more knowledgeable in the world of special operators. You already have the experience. Now what you need is knowledge. And then it will be very hard for someone to beat you, Alex. That's what you want, isn't it?"

Alex hadn't realized how good Wolf had gotten to know Alex. Unlike Jack, Wolf could see Alex in different situations. He'd seen the teenager who went to school, played football and video games with his friends, and studied hard. But he'd also seen the teen who caused explosions and mischief, who got played and was tortured, and who was able to pull himself out of his well of pain and continue to fight. Out of everyone Alex knew, perhaps Wolf knew him best. And that scared Alex.

"What do you mean?" Alex had asked. He hadn't even given it that much thought yet, but Wolf had definitely seen something that Alex hadn't.

"Your last two missions ended with you being tortured. Your missions have gotten harder. Your first missions were nothing like the ones MI6 send you on now. They are already treating you like an adult. But so are the bad guys. Your reputation is running ahead of you, and you're having trouble catching up. So I bet, after this last mission, you want to do everything you can to avoid being tortured ever again. Am I wrong?"

Alex had shaken his head. If you'd asked him, Alex wouldn't have been able to put into words why he'd made the choices he made. But apparently Wolf could.

"So are you my therapist now?" Alex had jokingly asked. Wolf had smirked and that had been the end of the conversation. But it had kept Alex up at night.

"Alright Alex," Jane said. "You are done for today. You made some pretty good progress. Next week I believe is our last session?" she asked. She worked in a revalidation centre close to Brecon Beacons. It was the only place Alex was cleared to go to outside of the compound, and he was escorted by two soldiers at all times.

Alex nodded. School started in two weeks. He was nervous to go back. His own school offered A-levels, so there was no need to change schools. Surprisingly, his best mate Tom had also decided to follow A-levels. Even better, he even had one A-level the same as Alex: history. Tom had also chosen IT. He wanted to become a video game designer, if being a professional football player didn't work out.

"Keep doing the exercises. Your body is almost back to full form, but you'll need to keep doing stretches and exercises every day, or we will lose progress. And don't let those other guys push you too hard. You only get one body in this life, and yours is bruised enough for two lifetimes", she added.

"Thanks, Jane. I'll see you next week!" Alex said.

He left the training room, quickly changed back into his regular clothes and packed up his bag. Two soldiers were sitting in the lobby, quietly chatting with each other. They didn't have to stand guard all the time, but Alex could see from their body language that, despite their apparent nonchalance, they were very in tune with their surroundings and any changes happening.

Michal, one of the soldiers, stood up when he saw Alex.

"Ready to go?" he nodded at Alex. Alex smiled and nodded.

"Did she make you suffer?" Michal asked.

"Always. She seems to like inflicting pain," Alex joked.

"I hear even the commander is scared of having an injury and having to go to her for therapy," Michal jokingly said.

"I heard that!"

The voice came from behind them. Jane was standing in the doorway of the therapy centre, hands on her hips with a scowl on her face. Her eyebrows shot up at Michal, who'd turned red.

"Good. At least now you know how scary you are!" Alex yelled back, smiling.

He'd told her once how all the soldiers felt about her, never daring to tell her to her face. But Alex had no such qualms. She was always gentle with him. Alex didn't know if it was because of the torture or his age, but he was totally fine with it. It had also allowed them to build up a real friendship. After all, Jane was only 26. Quite a bit older than Alex, but then again, so were the soldiers.

Michal ushered Alex to their army issued jeep, taking off as quickly as possible.

"We have to take you to the commander's office. Apparently, you have some visitors," Michal informed Alex.

It didn't take long to get back to the camp, and straight to the command centre.

Alex was immediately ushered to one of the meeting rooms at command. Brecon Beacons was a relatively large training centre. The command centre was one thing not every training centre in the UK had. It was one of the places that sometimes controlled operations from afar. Often, it was a hub of activity, especially when there were important missions being executed. Now, however, it was quiet.

The lady guiding him towards the meeting room opened the door and stood aside, to let Alex pass. Only then did Alex see who was waiting for him.

"Mrs. Jones," he said, surprised. He hadn't seen her in weeks. She had seen him his first day back in the UK, when he'd been in St Dominics for a few days before moving to Beacons. She hadn't been able to tell him anything then about who had done this to him.

"Hello, Alex. It's good to see you. I'm pleased you look so well. How do you feel?" she asked.

"Good. Stronger," Alex replied.

"That's good to hear," she said. "You're probably wondering why I'm here. Please, take a seat," she motioned.

Alex warily sat down across her. The lady who had brought Alex to see her closed the door, leaving Alex and his boss alone in the room.

"What's going on?" Alex asked. "Can I go home?"

Jones smiled.

"Yes, you'll be able to go home soon. While you've enjoyed your, as far as I understand mostly peaceful, recovery here at the base, the agency has been busy tracking down everyone involved in your kidnapping. At the same time, we have had to act on the intelligence that you provided us about the cartel and their plans for expansion. We were really lucky, Alex. They had already started to infiltrate in the underground networks of Liverpool, Manchester and Glasgow. Thanks to your intel, we were able to curb in their presence here in the UK. We haven't eliminated it entirely yet, but they've lost a few key players which will make it harder for them to really start up a network here. So for that, thank you. An MI5 task force is currently on top of tracking down the last remnants of the organisation in Britain."

Alex gave her a small smile. He just wasn't used to getting compliments. He preferred keeping his head down and doing his job.

"But the danger hasn't subsided completely. The cartel is still very large and influential on the other side of the world. We've relayed all the intel we got to the CIA and the FBI. But there are just too many cartels and gangs in the United States for them to consider this one a priority. They've operated mainly in the shadows in the US, so there isn't really a paper trail to go after. This also means that the price is still on your head. We've tried something similar to what we did with Scorpia a few years ago. But they're not biting just yet. We haven't been able to hit them as hard as we hit Scorpia, and they're simply not taking us seriously."

"So they're still out to get me?" Alex asked. He thought they'd be over it by now.

"Yes. As you know very well, these types of people simply don't like losing. And they lost you. They hurt you, but they didn't kill you. And that is a burn that doesn't erase easily. While our intelligence leads us to think they are not actively pursuing you, they did put out an international hit on you. So if at any point in time we lose track of who is looking to claim the hit, we will put you in protective custody for a period of time. For now, it seems safe enough to let you return home and start school in a few days."

Alex breathed a sigh of relief. To him, possibly gambling his future by not being able to attend school was worse than the idea that there was a price on his head.

Jones' knowing look told him that she knew exactly what his priorities were.

"We do have some worries, and I wanted to discuss this in person with you."

Alex tilted his head slightly, indicating that he was listening carefully.

"I'm glad you've decided to go for your A-levels. I know which ones you picked, and I think you will excel at them. Normally, I would have assigned your new stepdad to you." Alex' eyebrow shot up at the word she used for Wolf. As far as he was aware, Wolf and Jack were still taking it slow.

"Unfortunately, he is set to leave on a four-month mission in a week. And I cannot leave you unprotected for four weeks."

She held out her hand to stop the protest that was about to come out of Alex's mouth.

"Yes, I know. You can look after yourself. But I really do want you to succeed, Alex. These next two years, I don't intend to have you do any missions."

If Alex was surprised by her admission, he didn't show it. But he was. She had never said that to him.

"Alex, you know how pissed I was when they took away my control over you."

Alex smirked at the memory. As much as he liked Jones now, he did enjoy seeing her little bursts of anger back then.

"But you know what really pissed me off?"

Alex shrugged his shoulders. He could hardly read her on a good day.

"Seeing you in a hospital bed again, knowing you were there because I failed you."

Alex was shocked. He never thought he'd hear her express something like this.

"I failed you, Alex. I failed to protect you. And the truth is, you no longer have the value for which we initially recruited you. You're sixteen. You're taller, more filled out. You're a man, Alex. And we needed a child. You've outgrown your role."

Alex almost felt insulted, until he realised that what she was saying wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

"I kept you for one reason. You are good, Alex. You're incredibly good. We can train agents, but some will never get to the level that you are already at. And for a while, I allowed myself to forget something."

"What's that?" Alex asked when she didn't immediately continue.

"Intelligence work is a marathon, not a sprint. And if I keep putting you in harm's way, I will lose my best chance at winning the marathon eventually."

Alex knew that she didn't mean eliminating all threats. That was impossible. But she wanted to make a difference.

"I need to let you go, Alex. I need to allow you to be a regular teenager. You still have some growing to do, and I don't just mean physically. So I want you to go to school, and university after that. And then I want to recruit you. When, and if, you are ready to return to intelligence work."

Alex swallowed. Walking in here, he hadn't expected to hear such praise for his work, or such an emotional confession from the one woman he thought truly had a heart with ice wrapped around it.

'I guess the ice is melting', Alex thought.

"So… I'm done? You're 100% taking me out of the field? You won't call me when it seems like the world is ending? Or to prevent an attack that only I can prevent? Or for any kind of intrusion or surveillance work that needs to be done?"

"No. I promise, you are done. The only reason we will be in touch is if you need us, or when it comes to your protection. Because of everything that you have done, we owe it to you to be safe. To feel safe as well," Jones added.

"I don't believe it."

"I'm sure it's hard to grasp," Jones answered.

"No. It's not hard to grasp what you're saying. But… I know I'll never let my guard down. When I pass my exams, when I move on to the next year, when I graduate, or even when I'm in the middle of a class, it won't matter. I'll always be expecting that phone call. I just... I can't LET myself believe it. Because if I do, and you break that promise, the only stupid person was me," Alex said, pointing a finger at his own chest. He was standing up now, his chair lying on the floor behind him. Alex hadn't even noticed he'd kicked it down.

"I know. And nothing I say can change that. But you've had the power to say no for over a year now. We gave you back control over your life," she said. "And you've never used it."

Alex shook his head.

"That wasn't control. If you present anyone with a hypothetical question to ask if they would save someone's life, 95% of people would say yes. Most, without a doubt. But for me, the question was never hypothetical. To quote one of my favourite superheroes: when you can do the things that I can, but you don't, and then the bad things happen? They happen because of you.

So every time you asked me to go on a mission, I had to do it. Because if I said no, and something happened that I could have prevented, then that would have been on me."

"There's no way of knowing those things, Alex. But you're right. The truth is, there are plenty of agents who can do a decent job. Many agents have special skills that they utilize. And most of them are pretty good at what they do. So this IS my promise to you, Alex Rider. MI6 will not request the use of your skills until you have at least reached the age of 18, and even then, we will recruit you to join our service first. If you say no, no lives will be lost because of it. There are other agents who can cover the intel. We will not ask you back for a specific mission. We will only contact you in light of recruiting you into our service, through the proper channels. Is that something we can agree on?"

Alex hesitated. It still sounded too good to be true. But he had also realized that Jones was truly being honest with him. He could tell from her facial expressions, and the look in her eyes, that she was being sincere. For perhaps the first time ever, she was willingly showing him her emotions. And Alex knew.

"Yes. We are in agreement."

Jones stuck out her hand. Alex took it and shook it.

"But," Alex added, still holding Jones' hand, "I'm gonna want that in writing."

Jones cracked a smile, and she even laughed out loud a little.

"Okay," she promised.


	8. Chapter 8

Alex was sitting in the back of the lecture room. He wasn't back in school yet. It was the last day of class for him at Brecon Beacons. The sergeant had put him in lectures all summer, but he didn't know why it had to be necessary for him to follow a lecture on dismantling a bomb, especially on his last day here. He'd wanted to get another hike in, but was stuck in this stuffy room.

"When am I ever going to need this?" he muttered to Fox 2.0. He had found the company of the other recruits surprisingly pleasant. Though, as opposed to Alex, they were paying actual attention to the lecture.

"You never know, Cub. In wars, people use bombs all the time. It's crucial to know something about it. I've had classes like these before, I've just never had to dismantle a bomb myself. Usually they train a special group of people for that. A bomb squad."

"Yeah, exactly. So why would _I_ need to learn about it, if things like bomb squads exist?"

Fox chuckled.

"Don't you find it interesting?" he asked.

Alex shrugged.

He couldn't help but think that the reason he would ever need this information would not be a pleasant one. Sometimes he preferred to be in the dark about some things. Just for a little while longer.

"Cub! Pay attention, please. You may be a guest, but if you're in my lecture, you need to be present and participate," Eagle called out.

He was the resident weapons expert, and coincidentally also knew a lot about bombs. Not surprisingly with his chemistry background.

"What did I just say?" he asked.

Alex might have been talking with Fox, but he didn't have to actively listen in order to retain the information Eagle had just provided.

"If a bomb has a timer on it, it is usually relatively easy to dismantle it. The timer is connected to the explosive with wires. But cutting the wrong wire can mean "boom!" Alex mimicked an explosion theatrically, his hands going up in the air, making a cloud, his lips pursed at 'boom'.

"If you can see all the wires and you can cut them all at once, you should do that. If you cannot see all the wires, try and get a look at them. Try to figure out which wires are the important ones, the ones that connect the timer with the explosive. Also, if you try wrong… guess what? Boom!"

He mimicked the explosion again, and the rest of the class laughed.

"Nice, Cub," Eagle laughed as well. "Please don't distract the rest of this class with your mumblings then. Just because you retain information like that, doesn't mean everyone does."

He winked at Alex, who shut up for the rest of the class. He still didn't pay much attention, but at least now he wasn't distracting the others anymore.

He sighed, and looked out the window. Just a few more hours left in this safe haven, and then back to real life.

\---

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm honestly going to miss you, kid," Eagle said. "It just won't be the same without your snarky comments and instant defiance when asked to do something."

The rest of the team laughed.

Alex had packed his bags. Everyone else had as well. Summer holidays were ending, both for Alex and for K-Unit. They were set to leave on deployment soon. Wolf was going home with Alex for the weekend, but come Monday morning, him and K-unit were shipping out.

"Don't worry, Eagle. You'll see me soon enough. I think Jack wants to invite all of you over for Christmas, wife and kids included," Alex nodded at Bear. He'd talked to Jack over the phone yesterday.

"I'll be there," Snake said immediately.

"Me too", Eagle jumped. "I'm bringing my girl as well, so you can meet her," he winked at Alex.

Alex's brows lifted.

"I still don't get it," he muttered. Wolf had caught it and laughed.

"What's that, Cub?"

Alex pointed at Eagle.

"How does THAT get a girlfriend?" he asked with a serious face.

Eagle pretended to be offended while the others laughed.

"You know what the worst thing is?" Bear replied. "She's a fucking model. She literally walks catwalks, and out of everyone, decided to date this guy!"

Now Eagle was smiling fondly. Alex could see the love on his face. He pretended to vomit, emitting more laughter from his unit.

"Alright, time's up. We've got to hit the road," Wolf said.

Alex clasped hands with Eagle, Snake and Bear. He would see them again, probably.

"Stay in touch, Alex. Not just through Wolf. You have our numbers. Text us, sometimes," Snake remarked. Alex nodded.

Alex picked up his school bag, containing his textbooks.

For a second, he transformed back into the schoolboy, Wolf thought. But he still carried a heaviness in him unlike any schoolboy he knew. Not that he knew many schoolboys, to be honest.

"Looking like a regular schoolboy," Eagle joked, unaware of Wolf's similar train of thought.

Alex grinned.

"I _am_ a schoolboy, Eagle," he retorted. Eagle frowned.

Alex packed his other bag and gripped it tight. He gave a quick nod to the lads and then turned to the car park with Wolf.

Wolf and Alex walked back towards Wolf's car.

"Are you ready to go home, finally?" Wolf asked, a smile on his face.

Alex looked at him.

"I'm so ready. No offense, Wolf, but life on an army base in the countryside in Wales isn't exactly the highlight of my life. I like London, and I like the ability to just blend in there."

"I understand," Wolf replied.

They had a long ride ahead. Alex settled in comfortably on the passenger side, while Wolf slid behind the wheel.

"Ready to leave Cub behind?" he asked.

Alex looked back at the base through the back windshield.

"Ready," Alex said, one last time. If everything went according to plan, he would never be Cub again. The next time he'd step foot on this base, if ever, he would be over 18.

He sighed. Wolf was waiting for him to turn back. Alex did, looked at Wolf and said:

"Let's go home."

\---

"Alex! Are you up?" Jack yelled from the kitchen. Five seconds later, Alex sauntered in, grabbing a piece of toast from the toaster and pouring himself a cup of tea. Jack was rummaging through the fridge, grabbing her lunch.

"Have you got time for that?" she asked, kicking the door of the fridge closed with her leg.

"What, this?" Alex mouthed, his voice muffled by the toast in his mouth, holding up his cup of tea. He chewed through the piece of bread, swallowed and replied: "School starts half an hour later today. I've got plenty of time."

He paused and looked at his watch.

"Aren't you late for work?" he asked.

Jack grabbed his wrist to look at the time.

"Shit!"

She grabbed her lunch and car keys and launched herself at the door.

"I'll see you tonight! Bye!" she yelled; the last part muffled by the already closed door.

Alex smiled. It felt good to be back home.

He'd gotten up at six this morning. A remnant of his summer at Brecon Beacons he supposed. Instead of turning around and getting an extra hour of sleep, he'd gotten up and gone for a run at the crack of dawn. An hour of exercise out of the way, he'd then gotten in the shower and had just finished with that when he'd heard Jack's alarm clock.

And now he was ready to go back to school.

It's been a few months since he's seen his classmates. Tom had come by yesterday. It had been a shock for him to see Alex so healthy. He'd heard a lot from Jack, and had phoned Alex a couple of times during the summer. He'd expected to see Alex at the ends of his wits, completely broken down and battered and bruised. Instead, Alex was healthy. He went to therapy, he was physically fitter than he'd ever been, and he was in a good head space. MI6 had come through. Or, well, Jones had come through. She had sent Alex the promised paperwork, with a promise to not bother him anymore, even though technically at 16, he was allowed to join the army, and by extension the secret service.

He had plenty of time to do so if he wanted to. For now, he was glad to just be a regular schoolboy again.

He thought back on yesterday, a conversation he had with Tom.

" _So you're really officially done? No more missions, no more blackmail? Nothing like that?", Tom had asked him. He hadn't believed Alex when he'd told him._

_Alex turned around, took a map, and pulled out the contract Jones had signed._

" _This is it," he said with a finality to his voice. "They erased all of my missions and all of the info they have on me off their server. I have one copy of my file on a hard drive, stashed somewhere safe. Smithers is keeping one physical copy somewhere safe as well; Jones and I both trust him with it. And there's a dummy file stored on their servers on me. They couldn't just have nothing, that would definitely be noticed. But it's a very thinned down file, and most of the… let's say less interesting facts, have been left out. I am a spy no more," Alex concluded._

_Tom was reading through the contract. It looked very formal and legal. Alex had said he was done before, but he'd never sounded so sure than he did now. And he'd also never had anything legal to back it up with._

" _That's insane. I thought they'd never let you go. Wait, what if you want to become an agent after you graduate?" he asked, knowing that Alex could never truly give it up._

" _Then I go through the process like any other agent. I'll have to prove my fitness, pass theoretical, technical and psychological tests. Though I recon they'll still speed me through it faster than other candidates, depending on who sees my application of course."_

" _Does this mean no more assassins? God, I hope so!" Tom remarked, giving a quick smile at Alex._

" _My enemies obviously aren't going to stop at a legal contract saying I'm not a spy anymore. In fact, if they get wind of it, they might come for me anyway. I'm probably an easier target now. So I still have to be very careful."_

_He paused. Perhaps he had to tell Tom something else. So far, he'd kept it from his friend._

" _There's something else you should now. There's currently still a hit out on me," he said tentatively._

" _The cartel I was sent to investigate, who, well, you know…" He made a gesture with his head, biting his lip. Tom knew he was referring to his kidnapping._

" _They're mad I survived. MI6 put word out that I was dead, so I should be safe, especially with all the time spent away from London. But they might catch wind of the fact that I'm alive and send someone."_

" _Jesus Christ, Alex. You've got to be kidding me! Why are you here? Why don't you go in hiding or something?" Tom asked._

" _I've been in hiding, a whole summer. But I can't let this derail my life anymore. I needed to get back for school. It'll be fine. Don't worry, Tom," Alex had answered._

_They'd played videogames for the next couple of hours, but Alex could tell Tom was still uneasy about what Alex had told him._

A knock at the door shook him out of his musings. Alex grabbed his backpack and his keys and greeted his friend Tom. The two of them quickly set out to school. Tom seemed to be in a better mood today.

Alex hadn't set foot in this school since May last year. He'd been through a lot these past few months. He felt a familiar ache in his chest. He rubbed his bullet scar through his jacket. It didn't really hurt anymore; it was more a real reminder of all the challenges he'd faced. He took out his class schedule. Tom held his next to Alex's. They didn't have a lot of classes together, though they did have history and politics, as well as PE.

"I guess that's that," Tom resigned. "No shared morning classes. I'll see you at lunch?" he asked. Alex nodded, and the two of them set of on different paths. His first class was introduction to law. Most students who took law, either wanted to go into politics or law itself. Alex didn't think anyone in his class would want to study law to become a spy.

"Hey, you're Alex Rider, right?"

Alex turned around and looked at the tall kid. He was built like a tank, with a square face and spiky black hair. He didn't look like he belonged in a parliament or a courthouse.

"Benjamin Knox. I transferred here last year. We were in the same class, but never really spoke."

Alex remembered him. He knew everyone in the school, always paying attention to his surroundings and his peers. But he had indeed never talked to Benjamin.

"Right, sorry. Yes, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you. Are you taking law as well?" he asked, just being polite. He didn't think he'd be friends with someone like Benjamin Knox. The kid looked like he'd eat Alex for lunch.

"Yeah, I am. I actually wanted to join the military, but my mum insisted I finish A-levels. I figured I might as well take some classes that could help me later on. So law it is. How about you?" he asked.

"Oh, wow. That's actually really interesting. I uh…" Alex wasn't sure how to respond. "My guardian, she's a lawyer. It just seemed like something I could be interested in," Alex replied. As soon as the words left his mouth, he realised how unimpressive that sounded. He should have said something similar, about joining the military.

"Cool," Benjamin answered.

"Why do you want to join the military?" Alex asked, genuinely curious. He thought back on the parts of military training he had undergone a few years ago, as well as the training this summer. Benjamin could definitely beat Alex at the physical stuff.

"My dad was in the military. Special forces, actually. He died when I was nine. My brothers both joined up as soon as they turned sixteen. But since I'm the youngest, my mum kind of insisted I at least go to school until I'm 18."

Alex smiled.

"My dad was in the military as well, before I was born," Alex said. His dad had indeed served in the military, before joining MI6.

"Oh. What does he do now?" Benjamin asked.

Alex scuffled.

"Well, actually, my parents died shortly after I was born. I never knew them. My uncle raised me," Alex said.

"I'm sorry," Benjamin said, grabbing his neck.

"It's okay, it was a long time ago."

When their teacher arrived, they went inside the classroom. They sat next to each other, and Alex actually felt like he could trust Benjamin. He realised Benjamin's outer appearance had given him the wrong idea. Sitting in class, Alex could tell Benjamin was actually quite intelligent, and very unassuming, aside from his large statue. Despite being by far the tallest and buffest guy in the room, he practically made himself disappear in the class. Alex was impressed. He was definitely going to make it far in the military.

\---

The first week of classes flew by so fast, Alex hadn't even realized it was Friday until Tom mentioned his weekend plans.

They were sitting in the back of their last lesson of the day, English. And their new English teacher was – certified – crazy. Alex couldn't tell if she belonged in a mental hospital, a prison, or the British government. The first few minutes of the class, Mrs Powell had impersonated a chicken, a police officer, and the dean of their school. She had thrown a ruler at a student who didn't get an answer correctly, and she had sat in silence for ten minutes after an argument with a student on the front row. Meanwhile, Alex and Tom had resumed one of their old games of hangman at the back of the room. Just because they were studying A-levels now, didn't mean they'd suddenly matured in class. Alex felt quite happy just doodling around. Every time the teacher looked their way, Alex' spy senses started tingling the way Spiderman's spidey senses tingled, and he managed to carefully shift his notebook over the doodle he and Tom were working on. He always managed to look studious. He was quite studious as well. Any time she fired a question his way, he managed to respond immediately. He knew he was getting under her skin, but she couldn't really do anything about it.

"With the amount of homework I've gotten this week, I think any notion of a social life has gone out the door. Are they insane? Who has time for all of this?" Tom whispered.

"I've done most of the homework, actually," Alex replied softly. He'd dutifully done his homework every day after school. Jack was working long hours these days, and he often found himself home alone. So he'd resorted to being grateful to be in school and done his homework with diligence.

"You would, you nerd," Tom said, a little too loud. Mrs Powell turned instantly, and her eyes pierced Tom. Just as she was about to rip him a new one, her mouth already opening, the bell rang. Tom grabbed his bag and booked it out of there, not giving her a chance to say anything. Alex nodded respectfully at his teacher, before quickly turning and getting out of the classroom as soon as he could; he didn't think he could hold his laughter much longer.

A panting Tom stood waiting by the familiar bike shed.

"I swear, if that bell had rang one second later, I would have been dead. She was gonna straight up murder me," Tom said.

"Literally saved by the bell," Alex cackled.

"It's really not that funny," Tom replied, laughing.

They unlocked their bikes and left the school. A short while later, Alex turned towards his house, Tom heading in the opposite direction.

He locked his bike behind the gate and went inside.

He didn't notice the black Mercedes parked further down the street. The passenger in the front seat spoke briefly through the phone.

"He's here. Tell them we have confirmation of his location."

After the brief phone call, the driver dropped his cigarette butt out the window of the car and drove away. If Alex had noticed him, he would have seen the diplomatic number plate and wondered what the car was doing in his street. Perhaps he would have seen that the passenger had a very familiar face. And if MI6 has shared all of their information with Alex, he could have told them that this was the man who had seen him running towards the safehouse and had done nothing to rescue him. He could have told them that he was the inside man. But Alex didn't know that MI6 hadn't caught him yet. So the car disappeared into the London traffic, without Alex ever knowing it was there.

Alex turned on the kettle at home. Suddenly, something made him look out the window, a strong sense of urgency. But his street was empty, aside from a few of the neighbours' cars. There was nothing out of the ordinary. Alex shook his head and, hearing the kettle whistle, turned his back on the window.

It was like the car was never there, and Alex was unaware of the immediate threat to his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the reviews! They really help with forcing me to my desk and writing another chapter! Good news... I am almost finished with this. The next two chapters are written. I am writing the finale now. If you have any ideas on where I should take Alex next, let me know! I'm thinking about writing another piece about him, but not sure yet which direction I want to take the story. Please like and comment, I love the interaction!


	9. Chapter 9

Two weeks had passed since the start of school, and Alex was feeling fidgety. Something was off. His instincts were screaming at him to respond to a threat, but there wasn't any apparent threat. Unless he counted his new law teacher, who was absolutely an asshole, but not really a threat. The first class he had with him, Mr Walker had taken him aside after the class and given him a stern lecture. Alex had never met this man in his life, but apparently his reputation had proceeded him.

"Mr Rider, I just wanted to let you know that I expect an appearance of you in every one of my classes. I will not tolerate lateness, nor will I tolerate any excuses for missing class. I don't care if you are throwing up your insides, you will be present in my class. No doctor's note will fly for me, I will immediately flunk you. Is that clear?"

Alex couldn't do anything but nod.

He'd wanted to start his A-levels fresh, but this teacher had already pushed him in the troublemaker box. He didn't seem to care that Alex had aced his exams this summer and had high scores overall.

Yet he knew he could handle an arrogant teacher. He'd had those before, and while they hadn't necessarily directed their attitude towards Alex, he didn't think this teacher would actually harm him.

No, something else was at play. He felt watched. Someone was keeping an eye on him. His handler from MI6 occasionally checked in, but Alex didn't care much for him. Jones had wanted to put a more senior agent on Alex' detail, but the secret service was stretched thin at the moment, and there simply wasn't anyone to spare. So Alex had gotten a new agent, someone who hadn't been in the field before. He was trained and definitely knew what he was doing, but Alex still didn't have much confidence in the man. To add to that, he was also fed a cover story on Alex. While a lot of people were already aware of Alex's secret, a lot more weren't. Jones wanted to keep the pool of people who knew as small as possible. SAS officers might be able to recognize him, but they only knew him as Cub, not Alex. Some operatives knew, as well as some analysists at MI6, mostly those directly involved with the cartel chase. But still, it was limited, comparatively. And that meant that Jones didn't want to approve another person to learn the secret. To his handler, Alex wasn't an agent. He was simply an asset that needed to be protected from retaliation by the cartel.

Alex wished he could just tell Harrison, his handler, who he really was. Right now, he was just a kid. And that's how Harrison treated him. A child who needed to be watched, but should also be kept in the dark.

Mrs Jones had explained to him, that since he chose to step away, it went both ways. He would no longer be kept in the loop of any ongoing investigations unless it directly affected him. He was no longer privy to confidential information. Alex hadn't realized with how much information Mrs Jones had trusted him before, until he no longer had access to that information. He hated it. He couldn't stand not having all the facts. Especially now, when he felt unsafe and out of place.

"… and then when I brought up the dance to her, she just started getting this look in her eyes. I can't believe you didn't see it, mate! She was practically begging you to ask her out," Tom finished. "Hey, did you hear what I said?"

Alex looked at Tom. He'd caught the last of what he'd been rambling about, but was too wrapped up in his own mind to really listen to his friend.

"Sorry, what?"

"Ugh, mate, you've gotta pay attention. I am telling you; you should ask her to the dance!"

"Ask who?" Alex asked, confused.

"Alyssa! Alyssa Noble, you know, the beautiful blonde in our grade. She's in your politics class."

"Oh, her. I don't know, I don't really think she's my type," Alex replied. He had seen her, and thought she was beautiful. But she also came across as a bit of a snob, though she did have some redeeming qualities.

"Puh-lease! She's everyone's type. Now me, I won't be able to get near her. I tried talking to her and she just brushed me off. But she was interested in you."

"I don't know…", Alex replied, shaking off his earlier musings.

"Dude, come on. You said you wouldn't spy anymore, that now's the time to be a teenager. Let's just go to the party tonight, and then when you're there, you can talk to her and ask her to the dance. She'll definitely say yes!"

"You think so?" Alex grinned, warming up to the idea of going to this dance with a beautiful girl.

"Definitely. And when you ask her out, I can ask out her friend. We can make it a double date!"

"Which friend?" Alex asked suspiciously.

"Well, you know. Uhm…" Tom turned red.

"No. I don't. Which friend?"

" _IjustwantedtoaskLiliamhmhduhmn_ " Tom replied flustered.

"Sorry, mate. Didn't catch that. You should try opening your mouth when you speak," Alex said, enjoying his friend's discomfort, trying to hold back a laugh.

"Lilia Dunn! I wanted to ask Lilia!"

Alex couldn't hold back his laugh.

"Lilia Dunn? First of all, she's way out of your league. She's definitely out of my league! And second, isn't she dating that tosser from Westminster? We went up against them in football last year."

One of the few matches Alex had actually attended last year, though he'd sat on the bench the entire game.

"Well, yes. But he's not in our school, so I doubt he'll go to the dance with her," Tom replied, still flustered.

"Tom, mate. She's not a good match for you, anyway. What would you even talk about?" Alex asked.

"Who talks these days?" was Tom's reply.

Alex laughed at that.

"You do, more than anyone I know," Alex replied.

Tom smiled.

"Look, I know you want to impress her. But seriously Tom, you should find a girl who's interested in the same things you are," Alex said, imparting a few words of wisdom.

But Tom shot that back at him immediately.

"Is that why you're going to ask Alyssa Noble out? Because of all the interests you share?"

Alex shrugged.

"I barely know her. How do I know what she likes? Guess we'll find out," Alex replied.

"So we're going to the party?" Tom asked eagerly.

"Sure, we'll go."

"Yes, awesome!" Tom replied. He actually punched his fist in the air.

\----

Jack hadn't come home yet from work, so Alex left a note on the fridge that he was going to Tom's and afterwards to a party. He knew she was fine with him going to parties. In fact, she had ordered him to go to parties this year. For fun, she had given him a curfew at 2am. If he broke it, she would ground him. She looked forward to it, she'd said.

Alex turned up at Tom's house a little after eight. They played videogames for a little over an hour, until they decided the party would definitely be happening now.

"Tom, wait a minute," Alex said before leaving the house. He took a peep through the curtains, out at the street. He wasn't sure why, but something made him look. It was empty. He breathed a sigh of relief.

"What's going on?" Tom asked suspiciously. Alex couldn't hide his concern anymore, not from Tom.

"I… Look, it's probably nothing," Alex said. "I've just been having this feeling that something's off. I can't really explain it. I'm just a little vigilant, that's all."

Tom nodded.

"Is this about the cartel?"

Tom, of course, knew exactly where Alex' head was.

"I haven't heard anything from '6 since I started school. It's frustrating."

"I knew you'd have some separation anxiety. You're not a spy anymore, Alex. Come on, we've got a party to get to," he said.

He was wrong. Alex couldn't just turn off being a spy. Whether he ever returned to the work or not, he would always be a spy. And something was wrong. But he shrugged it off, determined not to let it spoil his evening.

"You're right, let's go!"

The party was at someone's house. Alex didn't even know whose house, which unnerved him slightly. But Tom said it was cool, and Alex trusted him. Soon after they entered, Tom had found them some drinks. He moved to the dancefloor, eagerly throwing himself into the crowd. Alex watched from the side, not that much of a dancer. He envied Tom, who so easily blended in in the crowd. He saw Alyssa across the room. She was the centre of attention, with both girls and boys standing around her, vying for her attention. She laughed loudly, bathing in the looks and ass-kissers. She caught Alex staring, and waved at him. He gave her a smile but knew instantly that he would never even consider dating her. She looked high maintenance and full of drama. Hard pass. Plus, she demanded to be seen. Alex preferred to be hidden, lost in the crowd.

"I don't know how they do it, just worship someone who is so obviously pleased with their attention," he heard someone say.

Beside him stood a gorgeous girl. She looked like she belonged there, in the shadows, next to him.

"Hi. I'm Gabrielle. Gabby, for my friends."

He took her outstretched hand.

"Alex," he replied. "And they do it because it's human nature. We're conditioned to want to be associated with people we think are successful."

"You're not," she answered. "Conditioned, I mean. I saw Alyssa waving at you, but you didn't jump at the chance to go talk to her."

Alex eyed her.

"That's perceptive of you," he said, brows furrowed.

She shrugged her shoulders.

"I like standing at the edge of a crowd, just watching them. It's interesting."

"Wouldn't you rather be a part of the crowd?"

"Would you?" she reverberated.

He smiled. "I prefer the shadows," Alex admitted.

"Me too. It's way cooler here," she smiled. Alex couldn't keep a smile of his face either. He liked her, so far.

"Do you go to Brooklands?" he asked, not remembering ever having seen her before.

"No, I go to Regent High. It's actually a classmate of mine who threw this party, but his girlfriend is from Brooklands so that's why there's a bunch of people from your school here," she said.

Alex nodded in understanding. He tried to drink from his cup, but noticed it was empty.

"Want to get another drink?" Gabby asked, seeing him eye his cup. Alex nodded, and followed her through the crowd to the drinks station.

"What's your poison?" she asked. Alex hesitated. He'd had only one beer, but he preferred to stay sober.

"Just some lemonade is fine, I'm not looking to get drunk," he answered.

Gabby nodded and poured two lemonades.

"I'm not much of a drinker either," Gabby admitted. "Not really a party person if I'm honest. But my friends wanted to come, so…"

"Same," Alex said. "So what do you normally do if you're not talking to strangers at a party?"

"I actually ride horses competitively. I work part-time at the stables, and most of my other time goes into practice. I also like running and I've been doing taekwondo since I was thirteen. You?"

"I'm impressed!" Alex said genuinely. "I run a lot, I also train in karate and Thai-boxing."

"Are you any good?" she asked.

Alex shrugged.

"I'm a black belt. I mostly train on my own now, though. I've had a bit of a rough summer and I'm not yet looking forward to training at a gym," he said.

Gabby looked very impressed.

"Black belt, wow. Honestly, I wouldn't say that just looking at you," she smiled. Then she frowned, looking him over again. Alex smirked. Gabby blushed when she saw the smirk, realising that she was checking him out right in front of him.

"Shit, sorry."

"It's okay," Alex laughed. "So how are you faring in taekwondo?"

"I do alright, but I don't do competitions or anything like that. It's just a good way to let off some steam, same with running. But riding is definitely my favourite hobby. Have you ever done it?"

Alex nodded.

"Not here, though. My uncle… he used to take me travelling all around the world. We did some horseback riding in Costa Rica, and in Spain as well. It was fun," Alex added.

"Gosh, that sounds amazing! I've only ever been to France on holiday. Wait, that's not true. I've had competitions in Belgium and Germany as well, but I never really got to see the countries other than the horse tracks."

"That's pretty cool, that you get to do competitions abroad."

"Yeah, it's nice. It's hard work, though. And whenever I tell people, they usually just look at me like 'great, another horse girl'. That really sucks," she added.

Alex shook his head.

"I'm not thinking that. I think it's great that you know what you're good at and what you want to do after school. Not everyone does."

"So what do you want to do? After school, I mean," Gabby asked curiously.

Alex hesitated.

"I'm not sure. I want to go to uni, for sure. I think something like international relations, that sounds fun," Alex said. The tone in his voice revealed how uninterested he was. He realized that, despite what he'd claimed earlier that year, he actually didn't have the urge, or the patience, to get through university before going back to MI6. That was 6 more years of school before he could get a full-time job with them.

"Sounds nice, I guess," Gabby responded.

"Hey Gabs!"

A squeaky voice interrupted them.

"Fiona is throwing up in the bathroom. We're taking her home. Are you coming with?" the girl asked.

"Oh, yeah, sure," Gabby responded, flustered again. "Sorry, Alex. My friends…"

"It's okay," Alex responded. "I should go find my friend Tom; I think we should be heading home as well."

Gabby hesitated, then asked Alex for his phone. She put her number in and texted herself.

"Now we can stay in touch," Gabby said, smiling. Alex smiled back at her, and watched her friend take her away. He sighed, pushing off from the wall to look for Tom.

He found him in another room, making out with a girl.

"Tom?" he hesitated, not really wanting to interrupt his friend's makeout session.

"Alex! Oh shit, what time is it?" he asked.

"Time to go home, buddy," Alex responded. He had some trouble keeping from laughing. Tom was absolutely pissed drunk.

Tom turned to look at the girl he'd been making out with.

"Made-lyn, I'm sob… I am sooorry," Tom slurred.

"It's okay, Tom. I'll text you!" she responded, surprisingly coherent Alex thought.

Alex lifted Tom to his feet, putting his shoulder under his friend's arm.

"Jesus Christ, Tom. How much have you had to drink?" Alex wondered.

"Not thaaaat much!" Tom answered, standing unsteadily on his feet.

"Do you feel like throwing up?" Alex asked.

"Naaaah, I got thisss," Tom said, standing up without Alex' help. He soon stumbled, and Alex supported him again.

"Come on, let's get you home," he said. He got them out of the house to their bikes. Tom managed to get on the bike and the two of them cycled slowly to Tom's house.

After getting Tom home safely, Alex set off to his own house. After turning out of Tom's street, Alex felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He looked back and saw a black Mercedes slowly rolling through the street. It looked out of place. It was also going very slow. Alex sped up, taking a sharp corner, and sprinting down the street on his bike. He looked back. The car was still there, in full pursuit now.

Alex raced down the street. The car had almost caught up with him when Alex caught a break. The park was right up ahead. Just as the car was almost close enough to clip Alex, he swerved into the park. It was a narrow lane headed into the park, so the car couldn't follow him there. It also served as a shortcut. Alex heard the car speed away. He raced home. Before getting out of the park, Alex stopped right at the edge of it. He looked down the street, in the direction in which he thought the car may come. It didn't come, so Alex ventured carefully out in the street, keeping his eyes peeled. He didn't see the car again and got home safely.

A strange car was parked on the curb in front of his house.

Alex stored his bike and used his key to get in.

"Alex, is that you?" Jack asked, her voice muffled by the kitchen door.

Alex followed her voice, entering the kitchen. Harrison was sitting at the kitchen table. Presumably, he was the owner of the strange car.

"Harrison? What are you doing here?" Alex asked. He couldn't help but link Harrison's appearance to the car that had chased him. But something kept Alex from immediately spilling the chase.

"We've received some information concerning your case," Harrison said reluctantly. He looked as if he wanted to do anything but tell a 16-year old about confidential information. In his eyes, Alex should have just been kept in the dark. But obviously his superiors thought different.

"What happened?" Alex asked. Two weeks. That's how long the peace had lasted. He should have known.

"Three lead cartel members landed in London two days ago. They slipped away from their tail this morning and have been under the radar ever since. We have no idea where they are, or why they are here. A surveillance team is spending 24/7 tracking them, but the cartel, despite not having a wide reach here themselves, do have some allies here apparently. We're not sure yet who's aiding them."

Alex gripped the table with both hands, his knuckles turning white. He couldn't believe this. They had them in their sights and lost them? And now here he was, a regular schoolboy again, except with a million-dollar hit out on his life. That was almost 800 000 pounds, which was insane. And the men who had put out the hit were here, in his country, in his city. In his streets, he realised, making the connection to the black Mercedes.

Still, something kept him from spilling to Harrison. He needed to talk to Jones. Harrison wouldn't take him seriously. He'd learned that in the first few days, when he'd tried to help him set up surveillance spots. Alex knew Harrison had left some gaps in his surveillance and had pointed them out. But Harrison hadn't listened to Alex, had scoffed at the idea that Alex had caught him making mistakes.

Monday, after school, he would head down to the bank. He was sure they'd still let him in, even if he wasn't active anymore.

"Just keep your eyes peeled, Alex. If you notice anything out of the ordinary, let me know and I'll investigate," Harrison told him.

'Isn't that your job?' Alex wanted to ask, but he didn't want to piss off Harrison, so he just nodded and kept his mouth shut.

Harrison left, and Alex turned to Jack.

"Alex," she started, but she didn't know what to say either.

"I'm going to the bank. Monday, after school. I need to have more information, and I can't stand that they're keeping me in the dark."

Jack sighed.

"Are you sure, Alex? Maybe being in the dark isn't such a bad thing?" she wondered.

"I'm sure. There's a bounty on my head. I want it gone. The sooner, the better. I can't live my life like this," he said.

Jack nodded.

"Go to bed, Alex. God, I hope this thing goes away soon. I am so damn tired of this," she sighed.

"Me too, Jack. Me too," Alex said, before heading up to bed. It had been such an eventful night; he'd almost forgotten about the party. He scrolled through his phone, looking for it. Gabby's number. He wanted to call her already. Talking to her had been so natural, so easy. But he knew it was too soon. He'd text her tomorrow. Or maybe not at all. After all, there was a bounty on his head. Did he really want to drag someone else into this messed up life?

\----

The entire Monday, Alex couldn't focus. And if all of the cartel stuff wasn't bad enough, he got his first test back. Their law teacher insisted on two weekly tests to ensure that the students were getting the materials. While these tests didn't weigh that heavily towards the final exams, they were still an important form of assessment.

And Alex had gotten a D.

He didn't understand why. He'd thought he'd answered most of the questions correct. He looked at the test, still not understanding. He compared his test with Benjamin's, who was sitting next to him. He hadn't done much better, getting a C. But still, a D and a C were two very different grades. And Alex had answered more detailed than Benjamin had. Their answers matched mostly.

After the class, Alex went up to the teacher, Mr Walker. He knew this teacher hated him, but he couldn't fathom that the teacher would flunk him on purpose, even when he hadn't actually done anything wrong or missed a class.

"Sir? I don't understand why I got a D. I thought I did pretty well on this test?" Alex asked tentatively, not wanting to upset his teacher.

It didn't help. Alex was glad his classmates had left already because the teacher was furious.

"Who are YOU to question my grading?! I gave you the grade you deserved, you little shit! Get your head out of the clouds! You're not special, you don't deserve special treatment."

He ripped the test out of Alex' hands, who was too stunned to object. He circled Alex' answers, each time pointing out his mistakes.

"This! What kind of nonsense is this? I didn't teach you that! That's wrong, this is wrong. This is not enough. This, another thing I definitely didn't teach you. Read the questions, Mr Rider."

"I'm sorry, sir. But the question you asked required an answer that you hadn't taught us yet. But I know this law, and how it applies. Why shouldn't I be able to write it down?" Alex asked, getting frustrated. His teacher had asked them a question about military law. They hadn't studied that yet, not even close. Alex knew it was something that would come up near the end of the year. It was a trick question, no one was supposed to get that right. But Alex did, because he knew a lot about military law. He had learned it at the army base during summer, after he'd finished studying for his GCSE's.

He could tell it was the wrong thing to say, though. His teacher looked like he was close to slapping him. Alex' defiant eyes dared him to do it. It would give him a good enough reason to lay his teacher on the ground.

But Mr Walker restrained himself, sticking to words instead.

"That's not how this works, Mr Rider. Out there, out in the real world, no one will give you special treatment. You follow the rules, or you get swallowed up. You've got no idea what it takes to succeed in life once you leave school. You'd be such a failure! No one has the time to catch an adult up on what they've missed after being 'sick'!"

His fingers formed air quotes as he said that.

"I am just telling you what you should already know and accept. I don't know why you bother with getting your A-levels. I don't know what excuse you pulled to pass your GCSE's, but that won't fly here. Not in my class," he sneered. He pushed the paper back into Alex' hands and left the classroom.

Alex was fuming.

HE had no idea how the world worked? He knew exactly how the world worked. He'd learned the hard way.

He walked to his bike, and sped away from the school, swerving between other students who were leaving school. He heard Tom yell his name but was too frustrated to stop for his friend. He pedalled hard, heading straight to MI6 headquarters. His head was filled with other thoughts though, of his teacher and that stupid law class. He didn't even really want to go to university anymore. So why was he doing this? He had a job, already.

Stuck inside his head, Alex hadn't noticed he'd turned into a quiet street, with no other traffic or people. He hadn't noticed the hairs on the back of his neck standing up, so sunk in thought he was.

He didn't realize until it was too late.

Up ahead, he saw a black Mercedes. Too late, his brain made the connection to the cartel. From behind, a van was catching up with him. He was trapped. The van sped up and hit his bike from behind. Alex flew over the handle of his steer, crossing his arms to protect his head in the fall.

He crashed down hard, feeling his body smack against the gravel. A stabbing pain shot through his shoulder. His head had cracked down on the ground. In his haste to leave the school, his helmet was still hanging on his steer, instead of on his head. He was out cold. The van had screeched to a stop behind him. Two masked men jumped out, picked Alex up and threw him unceremoniously in the van.

Both cars fled from the scene of the accident, leaving Alex's bike and backpack behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am happy to report that I've finished writing this fic! There are two more chapters after this one. I decided to break the last chapter in two because I had too many things to wrap up and it came to 7k+ words. So two chapters it is! I'll post them over the next week. Happy reading!


	10. Chapter 10

'You'd think I'd be used to this by now,' was the first thought in Alex' head as he woke up, once again, in a strange environment with a pounding headache.

His hands strained against the bonds. He was tied to a chair. He tried to move, but his feet were tied tight to the legs of the chair. His hands were strung together behind his back. He felt the strain in his shoulder. He was pretty sure he had popped it out. It hurt like hell, but he couldn't pop it back in in the position he was in now.

Alex looked around the room. The green wallpaper was coming off the walls. The room was a corner room, quite spacious. He seemed to be in a hotel. It was quite rundown, despite the slightly more luxurious state of the room. It must have been the most expensive room in a very shitty hotel.

He wasn't alone. Two guards were standing next to the door, each carrying a handgun on their belt and semi-automatic rifles. Alex couldn't know for sure, of course, but he was quite certain the cartel from Mexico was behind this. The two men looked Hispanic. Alex vaguely remembered riding his bike home from school, the Mercedes, the van, crashing his bike. It wasn't all clear exactly what had happened, but he knew one thing. This wasn't good.

He had no idea how closely MI6 had been keeping tabs on him. Did they have eyes on him the entire time? He'd glimpsed sight of agents occasionally, and he knew they had access to cameras around his house and the school, but did they have his bike route covered as well?

As always, he knew he couldn't rely on them to come save him. He'd have to find a way out himself.

The guards moved to let someone inside. Alex looked straight at him. He hid his surprise quite well and let only the contempt shine through. He knew this man.

"Ramsay," Alex spit out. The CIA operative Alex had met in Mexico. He had let Alex get captured, and had smiled while doing so. Alex knew he'd given him up, but he had no idea Ramsay was actively working with the cartel. Even going so far as coming to London with them.

"Alex Rider. I didn't think I'd ever see you again," Ramsay said, a smirk on his lips.

"I thought for sure they'd caught you," Alex said.

"They did, but they released me again. Not enough evidence against me, you see," he said, grinning. Alex had debriefed Jones about everything. But he hadn't mentioned seeing Ramsay. Somehow, that detail had slipped his mind. And Jones had never asked about it, never asked his opinion on who he thought had sold him out. She'd said they'd find out when they arrested the members of the British government who'd had a hand in Alex's betrayal.

He'd made a mistake. And now he was paying for it.

"They'll catch you again. There's not a place in the world where you can hide. If I have to, I'll chase you myself," Alex said.

Ramsay laughed.

"And what makes you think you'll be alive long enough to chase me?"

Alex gritted his teeth.

"Why are you doing this? You're supposedly a patriot! You're supposed to fight for the good guys," Alex spat back.

"I AM a patriot," Ramsay emphasized. "I am doing this for the good of my country. Unfortunately for you, that means taking the Rosario cartel's attention away from moving up in the US. And the only way to do that, was to serve them a new distribution network on a platter. It would have all worked out fine, except MI6 kept intercepting our work. So we needed them to put their focus elsewhere. Let's just say we had a busy spring, if you know what I mean?"

His grin made Alex want to throw up in his own mouth.

"What, so you kidnapped me to get MI6's attention away from you? That makes no sense. It just made them pay more attention!"

"While they were focused on retrieving you, they'd dropped a lot of their guards. We were able to sneak past them, thanks to our contacts in your government of course. It's the main reason we were able to stay under the radar for so long. You wouldn't believe what money can buy you. It's incredible, honestly."

"But they caught them. The network in our government," Alex said, confused. At least that's what Jones had told him.

He hadn't had a reason to doubt her before, but now more and more he started to see things clearer. He didn't know where this was leading to yet, but he was so close to figuring it out.

"They did catch some minor players. Pemberton and his daughter are in custody. Some other, less important, people as well. And they're all talking, of course. They'd barely put them in handcuffs before they started spewing out information, trying to get deals. Spineless idiots," Ramsay muttered.

"But they were all low-level, need-to-know players," Ramsay continued. "They all pointed to each other, in a circle. It was beautiful to keep tabs on, honestly. Each one betraying the other, but none of them could name the big names."

Alex didn't understand. This was supposed to be a still relatively small-time cartel in Mexico. They had strong ties all over South America and in the United States, but what business did they have in his country? This all reeked of a major crime syndicate, like the mafia or Scorpia. Not a cartel.

Ramsay could see Alex' confusion.

"Oh, I won't bore you with the politics, Alex. You know, when I was a young DEA agent, they sent me to investigate the cartel, which had just started up business in Los Angeles. I put out the fires and went up the ladder in the FBI. And then the CIA recruited me. And you know what the worst part was? They paid even less than the Feds. So I started taking bribes. Small ones, you see. I didn't start out a criminal. But eventually, I realized this cartel had the power and the means to destroy my country. Like I said, I am a patriot. I would do anything for my country. So I started working with the cartel, directing their energy to the more lucrative business of a supply network in Europe. Of course, here, the cartel needed to set up business agreements with the Irish, the Italians and the Russians. Not an easy feat, I must add. Still, they saw the potential in this business agreement. The cartel obviously has a lot of access to drugs. After cutting of the Irish's main drug supplier from Colombia, they had no choice but to get on board with the Rosario cartel. And from there, we will build an empire," he said, spreading his arms wide. He looked like he was putting on a show, and Alex was the unwilling audience.

"The only thing still standing in our way, is you," Ramsay said.

"I'm not in your way. I couldn't care less about you. I was fine never seeing your ugly face again," Alex spit back. It earned him a slap in the face. Alex couldn't help it. He smiled. He was goading Ramsay, and it was obviously working.

"You're a liability. A risk we're not willing to take. I convinced them to let you go out in a creative way. Way more fun than simply putting a bullet right here," he said, putting his finger in the space between Alex's eyes.

"And what's that, then?" Alex asked. He wanted to applaud Ramsay's stupid need for drama. It gave him more time to find a solution and to save himself.

Just as Ramsay was about to say it, someone else walked into the room. He had been on the phone and hung up just as he entered the room. Alex could tell this was someone important. Way more important than Ramsay. The guards in the room shifted, standing a little straighter, gripping their rifles tighter.

Ramsay turned towards the newcomer and said: "Captain Ruiz," with a nod of his head.

Behind Ruiz, someone else followed.

"What is this, a party?" Alex joked, proud of himself that he could squeeze out a joke when he was almost pissing himself from fear. He just didn't show it.

The man named Ruiz laughed.

"I heard you could be quite the jokester", he said. His accent was thick. He was a large, imposing figure. He wore a grey suit with a blue tie and looked like a businessman. Except for his eyes. Alex remembered the saying; 'the eyes are the windows to the soul'. If that was the case, Ruiz' soul was the blackest black Alex had ever seen. This was not a man to mess with, and Alex instantly regretted his little joke. The man looked like he could physically cleave him in half.

"But we're not laughing anymore," Ruiz finished. "You almost tanked a four-year attempt at taking control of the European drug market. Overall, you've just been really annoying. If I had my way, you'd already be dead and in _la tierra_."

Alex swallowed. He remembered the translation for la tierra, "in the ground". He didn't really need the translation though; the look on this man's face was saying enough.

"Luckily for you, Captain Ruiz is not in charge," the second man said now in a deep voice. This man also had a thick Mexican accent, though he looked more civil than Ruiz.

Alex pushed his fear down, looked away from Ruiz and at the man who had spoken.

"And who are you?" he asked defiantly.

The man laughed. He looked genuinely amused and turned to Ramsay.

"He really is funny. I don't understand why you wanted him dead so badly."

He turned back towards Alex.

"My name is Joaquín Montgomery Ortiz. And you, are Alex Rider," he said.

"You don't have to tell me my name, I remember it," Alex replied snarkily.

The man smirked in reply.

"Of course. Five months ago, you were a name in a file for me. A name that was spoken in passing conversation. Then, you became knowledge. And then, a nuisance. _El carcinero_ was killed in the raid on our facility. It was annoying, but I'll be honest with you, Alex. No one will miss him. I would have gladly put the bullet in his head myself.

But you – you were supposed to be dead. They had rescued you, and you had died in a Texas hospital. You see, if I were a simple man, I might have believed that. But I had… how do you say that? Suspicions."

He neared Alex. The earlier casualness that Alex had noted was now gone. He had mistakenly thought that his man was the lesser evil of the two, but that wasn't true. While Ruiz was obviously a dangerous man, Joaquín Ortiz was more calculated. Alex recognized the type; he had come across these types of men before. And they were dangerous. Very dangerous.

"You might think that you will be able to escape. That we have stupidly given you the opportunity for escape," he continued. He was just a couple of inches from Alex's face, leaning forward to make a point. "I don't make mistakes very often, Mr Rider. And I never make the same one twice."

Alex visibly swallowed. He felt like he was staring straight into a devil's eyes.

Ortiz leaned back, disturbing the momentum. Alex sighed briefly. Ortiz motioned to the guards, who opened the door. Two men brought in a struggling figure. At first, Alex couldn't tell who it was. Until he heard a familiar voice.

"Get your hands off me, you tosser!" Tom said, wriggling around, trying to free himself.

"Tom?" Alex said incredulously.

"Alex?! Jesus Christ, what the hell is this?"

Alex turned back to Ortiz, furious.

"What are you doing? Let him go! He has nothing to do with this. Nothing!" he yelled, struggling against his bonds. A sharp pain struck his shoulder. It had been throbbing quietly for a while, but now that he'd moved again, the pain was too much.

Alex's head lolled forward. He'd passed out.

"Alex!" Tom yelled. "Damnit, let go of me!"

Ortiz turned to Ramsay.

"Wake him up," he ordered. Ramsay sprang into action, tossing some water on Alex.

Alex spluttered, his eyes flickering. Slowly, he woke up again. He squeezed his eyes, spit flying from his mouth as he breathed hard. His shoulder was killing him.

"Fix that," Captain Ruiz nodded at the guards. The two large men walked up to Alex. One of them grabbed Alex and kept him still. The other grabbed Alex and, surprisingly, pushed gently against his shoulder. Alex screamed out in pain, but felt instant relief as his shoulder was popped back in. The pain had caused him to break out in a sweat. He breathed out heavily, but the pain had returned to a small throb. He could tell it wouldn't affect him much.

"We need your body to work in order for you to execute the task we planned for you. And your friend here will serve as insurance."

Tom had fallen silent. The entire situation had now dawned on him. At first, he'd felt slightly relieved at the sight of Alex. He would know what to do. But now he saw Alex's face, and his friend looked lost.

"Please, just, let him go," Alex pleaded. He couldn't lose his best friend.

"We will. After you execute the task, we have in mind for you."

Alex sighed. They'd left him no choice. He couldn't risk Tom's life. He couldn't believe MI6 hadn't seen this coming. If they knew who Alex was, they knew that the way to get to him would be through the people closest to him.

"What do you want?" he asked, shaking his head slightly at the thought of voluntarily working for the cartel.

"We want you to blow yourself up," Ortiz said in a matter-of-fact way.

Alex looked up; disbelief written on his face. His eyes darted from Ortiz, to Ruiz and the guards, and finally to Ramsay, who was smiling.

"You want me to what?" he asked, his voice going a pitch higher at the end of that sentence.

Ramsay came forward. He'd been standing in the back a bit, and Alex knew he was at least a little bit scared of the cartel heads.

"We want you to go out with a bang, Alex," he said.

"No, no way!" Alex said now, shaking his head violently.

Tom couldn't say anything. They'd taped his mouth, but his eyes were bulging out. He couldn't believe these people.

"I won't do it," Alex said.

"You have no choice," Ortiz replied. "If you don't do it, your friend will die. And if that is not incentive enough, we have placed two remote controlled bombs at two different primary schools. Hundreds of kids will die if you don't do this. Now Alex, we're not interested in killing for the sake of killing. We aren't that cruel. But we will kill them if you don't do what we ask. It's really quite simple Alex. your life against the life of your friend and hundreds of little, innocent kids. What do you choose?"

There was no choice. Alex knew it. He couldn't risk them actually having planted a bomb in a school. He had to do what they asked. Even if it meant dying. He wasn't ready to die. But he would, if it meant he saved more people than he killed.

He nodded his head, agreeing.

"Good. Well, let's get you ready," Ortiz said as he nodded to the guards. They grabbed Alex and hauled him to his feet, dragging him out of the room.

Alex looked over at Tom. He had tape over his mouth and looked terrified. Alex tried to give him a look of calmness and control, but he wasn't sure he'd pulled it off. Ramsay stood next to Tom and put his gun against Tom's head. Tom shrieked, feeling the cold metal against his scalp. Alex started to struggle as Ramsay smiled at him, motioning at pulling the trigger. The last thing Alex saw was Tom, tape over his mouth, a gun against his head, scared to death.

That's when they pulled a hood over him, hauled him down some stairs and pushed him into what Alex presumed was the back of a van. His head banged against the top of the open door. Great. If he didn't have a concussion already, he'd definitely have one now.

He felt a sting in his arm and knew they'd injected him with something. He tried to protest, but he couldn't see anything and was feeling drowsier with each second passing. He felt the van start and knew that he was driving to what might be the finish line of his life.

\---

With a startle, Alex shot awake. His head was pounding like crazy, telling him that he was right about the concussion.

Something else was wrong.

He felt… heavier, somehow.

Blinking, he shook off the last remnants of the drug. Surprisingly, he wasn't chained together. He moved his hands to rub his eyes and felt a tug.

He froze.

Carefully, he peeled his eyes open. In front of him, a wire was taped to his hand. Or more precisely, to his thumb. In his hand, he was holding a small stick with a button on top, and his thumb was pressing slightly against the button.

Alex instantly started sweating.

Even more carefully, he looked down, following the wire with his eyes. A heavy bomb vest was strapped to his chest. It had a timer on it, but it wasn't counting down yet.

Alex quickly analysed this.

He remembered Eagle's lecture about bombs. The timer was obvious, though Alex didn't know why it hadn't started counting yet. It was a little reassuring though, knowing that he wasn't on the clock yet. But in his hand, he was holding a dead man's switch. If the pressure of his thumb went away, the bomb would go off. He was grateful for the tape but could already feel his thumb starting to numb.

One thing he realized very quickly. If he couldn't get this bomb off of him, he would die.

He looked around, trying to see if there was any way he could figure out where he was. It didn't seem like this would be the place where they wanted the bomb to go off. He seemed to be in a somewhat industrial area. His eyes scanned the environment. Scaffolding, wood, sacks of cement. It wasn't an industrial site. It was a construction site.

Very carefully, Alex stood up. His legs were shaking, probably from the stress of it all.

Just as he got to his feet, someone pushed aside a piece of plastic.

"Ah, Alex, you have woken up," Ruiz said. The Cartel captain seemed… happy? It bothered Alex.

His hands were clammy, his whole body was shaking. His heart was beating way too loud and way too fast. He felt tears well up, but pushed them down. He wouldn't go down with tears in his eyes. Not him.

"As you can see, we are now closer to our target. I will walk with you to there. We could not get closer, at the risk of being seen by our target. We don't want to warn them after all."

He pulled out his phone, facetiming someone.

"Muéstrame el otro," he said. 'Show me the other one.'

The camera panned to Tom, still bound to a chair with duct tape.

"Tom," Alex exhaled.

"We still have your friend. If you do not what we ask, he will die. Remember this."

Alex nodded. He didn't have much choice.

"Say goodbye to your friend, Alex. He will never see you again."

A tear escaped Alex' eye as he looked at Tom. Tom was shaking his head vehemently, trying to tell Alex not to go through with this.

"I'm sorry, Tom!" Alex voice broke as he said it. Tears were streaming down Tom's face. He couldn't reply, he could only move his head.

"I'm really sorry you got dragged into this. I wish… If I could do it all over again, I'd never put you in that position," Alex sobbed.

He didn't regret joining MI6, not really. But he regretted dragging the people he loved into it. They deserved better. Tom deserved better.

"Goodbye Tom," Alex whispered, wiping his tears away with his free hand. He commanded himself to stop crying and turned back to Ruiz.

"Let's do this," he said, ignoring Tom's shrieks. He didn't turn back to his friend. Alex didn't think he could go through with this if he looked back at Tom. Ruiz turned off the camera.

One of Ruiz's men helped Alex into a jacket, zipping it up to his throat. This covered the bomb. Alex understood. This way, he could walk in public without setting off any alarms.

Finally, Ruiz told Alex to walk behind him. Alex was careful to look at where he put his feet, while also keeping an eye on any incoming traffic. He didn't want to bump into anyone and accidently set off this bomb.

At one point, he made the mistake of looking up and looking straight into someone's eyes. It was only for half a second, but Alex felt the connection. It was human. And he was nearing the end of his life. The person he'd made eye contact with, a girl roughly his age, looked away again and walked past. She went on with her day, probably never remembering the strange, sweaty, teary eyed boy with hard eyes that had made a small connection with her. But for Alex, this was one of the last encounters he would have. And she had seemed happy. Careless.

A few seconds later, Alex risked looking up again. He hadn't meant to look the girl in the eyes, but he had been looking for something else. He quickly found it. They were passing a sneaker store, and the store had cameras aimed towards the street. Alex looked straight at it, before bowing his head again and continuing on the path that Ruiz was setting. They walked for a couple minutes more.

Ruiz suddenly turned into an alley. Alex followed him, but when he looked up at where they actually were, he was shocked he recognized it.

They were right outside of MI6 HQ.

"You want me to blow up MI6?" he asked.

"You will walk up to the entrance and blow yourself up there. If you stay here, the bomb will miss its target. But it will still blow up. It will very likely do some damage, kill some civilians. It will definitely kill you. Your friend Tom will die. And those remote bombs will go off as well, killing hundreds of little children. Do you understand?"

Alex nodded. Suddenly, he couldn't speak anymore. His throat was dry. His feet seemed to be sunk in the ground. For a moment, he was paralysed by fear. But he realised he couldn't do nothing.

Ruiz looked at his watch.

"It's time," he said. He looked back at Alex, the grin on his face never fading. He was entirely too happy to see Alex suffer like this.

"Goodbye, Alex."

He walked away, and Alex let out a breath. For the first time, he was alone again. He wasn't in view of anyone here, hidden in the alley. But he knew something else. He wondered if Ruiz knew it as well. MI6 had control of all cameras with a two-mile radius of their HQ office. They had actively started using the surveillance after Alex has been sniped. So Alex knew that some algorithm had already recognized him, after looking at the sneaker store camera. He could only hope that MI6 realized where he was sooner rather than later.

As if the terrorists had heard his thoughts, something in the vest he was wearing clicked. And a ticking started. Alex was almost too terrified to look, but he did it anyway. It confirmed his suspicions. The timer on the bomb had been set off.

Alex felt a ripple of sweat running over his spine. The bomb was starting to feel heavier and his hands were shaking non-stop.

15 minutes.

900 seconds left in his life.

In a few seconds time, Alex's entire life flashed in front of his eyes.


	11. Chapter 11

_As if the terrorists had heard his thoughts, something in the vest he was wearing clicked. And a ticking started. Alex was almost too terrified to look, but he did it anyway. It confirmed his suspicions. The timer on the bomb had been set off._

_Alex felt a ripple of sweat running over his spine. The bomb was starting to feel heavier and his hands were shaking non-stop._

_15 minutes._

_900 seconds left in his life._

_In a few seconds time, Alex's entire life flashed in front of his eyes._

And that shook off the paralysed feeling.

"I am Alex Rider," he whispered to himself. "I took several bullets and lived. I saved people. I went to fucking space. I can do this."

Looking around, making sure no one from the street could see him from this vantage point, he carefully took off the jacket. He made sure to be extra careful pulling it over the hand that was still holding the dead man's switch.

His fingers found the wires that attached the C4 to the timer.

Alex tried to recall the lesson he'd had with Eagle, at the end of his summer holidays in Brecon Beacons. Eagle had tried to make a point to him. Something about cutting the right wire.

Cutting! Alex suddenly realized that, even if he did find the right wire, he wouldn't have anything to cut it with. The alley he was in was nearly empty, but there were some garbage bins nearby. He carefully moved towards them, quickly assessing if there was anything he could use. He found a nail within reach, that he maybe could use if he worked quickly.

There were four different wires. He couldn't follow two of the wires, as they twisted behind his back. One of the other wires seemed to run from the timer to the bomb, so he was fairly certain he needed to cut that one. The other wire was attached to a black box. Alex couldn't see what it was.

He took the nail and started chafing it against the wire attached to the timer. He had a hard time getting through, as he was forced to do it with his left hand. But after several minutes, he was almost there.

Before he cut through it, he hesitated.

Why did it seem like this was too simple?

They wanted him dead. The timer had 15 minutes on it to start with. There were 7 minutes left. Alex' brain was telling him to cut the timer off, but his gut was telling him something else. He dropped the nail.

No, this was too easy. If anything, cutting the wire would probably set off the bomb. He had to think of something else.

"Alex?" a voice said out of nowhere.

Alex turned around. At the edge of the alley stood Wolf. Alex almost collapsed to his knees, seeing him. Wolf wasn't alone. He could see other members of the SAS, including K-unit. He could also see several MI6 agents. How he hadn't heard them move in was beyond him.

"Wolf?" he asked, his voice quivering. He was back to being a scared child, in the presence of a person he trusted more than probably anyone else in the world.

Wolf pushed past the protective shields other officers were holding up.

"Lieutenant!", someone yelled. "Get back!"

Wolf ignored the voice and made his way over to Alex. His eyes were heavy set.

"What are you doing here?" Alex whispered. "You were on a mission… right?"

Alex suddenly wondered if more time had passed than he'd thought since he'd been recaptured.

"I lied. I was on a mission, just not abroad. I'll explain everything later, but we don't have time right now, Alex."

Alex nodded.

"I tried to cut the wire but… I don't think I should. It feels wrong," Alex admitted.

Wolf nodded, carefully looking at the bomb strapped to Alex.

"Can you take it off?" Alex asked, his voice breaking, his lip quivering again.

Wolf felt his chest constrict. Alex was still in his school uniform, affirming the notion that he was taken after leaving school the day before. A child plucked from school, still in his uniform, who was wearing an explosive vest with both a timer and a dead man's switch. Alex's two worlds had never collided this much.

"I'm sorry, I can't. We don't know…" he gestured at the vest.

Alex nodded, understanding.

Eagle also pushed past the protective screens, ignoring the yelling from a superior, just like Wolf did. Someone grabbed his shoulder.

"You cannot go past these protections, soldier. That is an order!" the man said. He seemed to be someone from MI6. Maybe he was a superior. Eagle didn't know. So… not Eagle's problem.

"I am the best chance he's got. Get your hands off me," he bit back.

Bear pushed the superior back.

"Thanks for informing us, but we don't take orders from you, Sir," he said respectfully.

"Besides," Eagle interrupted, "if that bomb goes off, no one who is standing here is safe. You need a four-block distance, at least. So better get going, _Sir_!"

After that, he turned to walk to Wolf and Alex. The soldiers around him dispersed, leaving only a handful standing close to Alex.

"Hey Alex. Sorry we have to meet again under these circumstances," Eagle said. He carefully examined the device attached to Alex.

"Just get me out of this," Alex whispered.

Eagle nodded. His fingers traced the wires, including the ones going to Alex's back. Eagle noticed the chafed wire and the nail on the ground.

"Why'd you stop?" he asked Alex.

"It didn't feel right. It was too easy," Alex replied.

Eagle could see Alex sweating.

"Hmm... I think you're right. Wolf, give me your knife," Eagle ordered. Wolf gave it to him.

Before anything else could be said, Eagle had already sliced through two of the wires. The ones running to the back. The timer stopped.

"Wha.." Alex sputtered.

"This one," Eagle grabbed the wire Alex had tried to cut earlier, "was a dummy wire for the timer. But it's not a dummy wire for the bomb. This timer is not the real timer. It was on the back. It would have killed you instantly if you'd cut that wire. Now, the next part will take a bit more precision."

Eagle went to work on the bomb. There were more wires than Alex had thought. He just couldn't see them. Wolf held Alex steady, as he was swaying on his feet. He was exhausted, both the mental and physical stress on his body taking its toll.

Finally, Eagle cut the wire in the front, the one connected to the black box.

"Okay. This should be it."

Wolf looked at Eagle sharply.

"Should be? Eagle, are you sure?"

Eagle looked at the bomb again, walking slowly around Alex. Then he nodded.

"Yes, I'm positive. But just in case, maybe everyone should take a couple of steps back."

He didn't mean himself. Wolf and Eagle were both staying with Alex. But they motioned everyone else who was still there to move back. The building surrounding them had already been cleared, as soon as MI6 realized what was happening. They had responded extremely quickly.

"Okay Alex. I'm going to take the tape off your finger. If I got it wrong, then none of us walk away from this."

"No," Alex interrupted. "I'll take the tape off, just… get yourself to safety, please."

Wolf shook his head.

"We're staying. Go ahead, Eagle."

Eagle grabbed Alex' hand and ripped of the tape. No point in being careful anymore. Either the bomb would go off or it wouldn't.

Alex was pressing his thumb hard on the button. If when the tape ripped away, he kept pressing it.

"Let go, Alex. It's okay," Eagle said.

Slowly, Alex relinquished his hold on the button.

And…

nothing happened!

Eagle had done it. Both him and Wolf blew out a breath of relief.

Now that the stress of the situation was lessened, Alex remembered something else.

"Tom!" he exclaimed. "They have Tom!"

Wolf and Eagle shared a look.

"It's okay, Alex," Wolf said. "We have a team looking for him already. We have a lot of players in the game, I'm positive they're very close to finding him."

His words soothed Alex a little.

"Can you take this off now?" he asked.

"We'll have to wait for the bomb squad. I disabled it, but the material is still sensitive and it needs to be properly handled and stored," Eagle replied.

Alex nodded.

Eagle and Wolf held him up until, finally, the bomb squad arrived. They carefully examined the device, complimenting Eagle on his skills, and then took the bomb from Alex. Alex sagged back against Wolf, who held him up.

"Jesus Christ," Alex let out. He didn't cry. But he felt how close he'd been to tears. How close he'd been to dying.

"Come on, Cub. Let's get you checked out," Wolf said, helping Alex to the street.

An ambulance drove up. The paramedics checked out Alex and, after reviewing that everything was fine, allowed him to get in the ambulance by himself. Wolf stayed with him, pulling a blanket over his shoulder.

"You're alright, Alex," he said. Just before the doors of the ambulance closed, Crawley appeared.

"Alex. I'm glad to see you are okay. I just wanted to let you know that there were no casualties on our side. We've found your friend, he's safe and he's fine. He will be at the hospital before you get there, but he's unharmed. The bombs in the schools that they threatened you with don't exist. This was the only bomb they had. We'll explain everything to you later, but just get yourself checked out for now."

He nodded at Alex and Wolf and closed the door, after which the ambulance took off to the hospital.

\----

Tom was indeed fine, though he was thoroughly shaken up by the entire experience. Alex talked with him for a while. Tom was discharged pretty quickly, but Alex had to wait a little longer. They had put his arm in a sling to give his shoulder some rest.

"Your therapist wanted to speak to you before letting you get out of the hospital," his doctor explained. It was the same doctor that had cared for him after he'd gotten back from the US.

In fact, this doctor knew Alex pretty well. He was one of the few doctors who had clearance with MI6, so he was always called on to treat Alex as well. Alex trusted him quite a bit. He liked him as well, which didn't happen all that often with people who poked at your wounds.

"She needs to make sure that you're in a good state of mind before you're allowed to leave. I'm sorry," the doctor added apologetically.

Alex shrugged.

"It's okay. I like talking to her, I think it can be useful," he said.

Because everything had happened so quickly, Lauren, his therapist, hadn't arrived in London yet. She was still about an hour out, but she'd talked to Alex on the phone already and had explained it.

The doctor nodded and left him alone. Though not for long. Mere seconds after he'd left the room, Jack entered. Followed by Tom, Wolf, and the rest of his unit.

Alex smiled at them.

"Hey guys, fancy seeing you here," he joked.

They were visibly relieved at seeing Alex fine and joking around.

"So, want to tell me now about how you guys were in London this entire time?"

Wolf shifted a little on his feet, receiving a scathing glare from Jack.

"You were what now?" she asked.

"We uh…" Wolf's neck turned red as he figured out how to say it. Alex couldn't help but laugh at Wolf's distress.

Luckily for Wolf, 'always-calm' Snake took over.

"We requested to be put on the team that hunted down the people that were after you; it was mostly MI5 guys, with an MI6 liaison and us. We were supported by GCHQ. They tracked phone conversations, internet usage, the likes. They dove deep and they made this a priority. So did everyone else who was on this team. Because of our connection to you, and because we rescued you from the cartel, we were targets as well. So we came up with a dummy mission. Officially, we all left the country for this mission. Four other soldiers wore nametags with our names on them, and they were recorded reporting for duty somewhere far away. We knew we were being watched, so we took these extra precautions. Then, under the cover of night, we snuck back into the country, aided by the small team at MI5.

After that, we started chasing down leads. We found them pretty quickly, but they kept getting away. Besides, we needed more time to expose the network they'd built here. Honestly, MI5 and GCHQ did most of the work. We just sat around, waiting for them to need our strength and force. But we were running out of leads. They kept moving around, but it was the same circle of people and we knew that they weren't the ones we needed to catch. It almost seemed like we weren't ever going to find out who was in the UK network.

And then we got the call that you'd been taken. Neither you nor Tom had made it home. It was pretty clever of them, because the fact that Tom was missing as well made us react a lot slower than we would have normally. We couldn't risk jeopardizing the operation if you two had just gone out for football. But that call put a couple of other things in motion. We spent the entire night doing raids on the network the cartel had built. Both their foreign contacts and their UK collaborators. We found quite a few people who seemed to be connected to the cartel. It's one of the biggest arrests ever made. It's gonna be very public, but you and Tom will be left out of it."

Alex absorbed the information. Something else was tickling his brain.

"So you didn't know they'd grab me?" he asked.

Wolf's eyes bulged out.

"Of course not! We would never risk your life like that!" he exclaimed.

Alex looked around and saw the same look on the others' faces. But just because they wouldn't, didn't mean someone else wouldn't.

"I would," he said, surprising them all. "In fact, I'm pretty sure Jones meant for me to get caught."

Wolf shook his head.

"No, she wouldn't. Alex, what are you saying?" he asked.

"It's what I would have done. I remember Ramsay saying something like that," Alex said pensively. "That you guys were running in circles trying to find out who was behind everything. And that you weren't making much progress. And what's the best way to change the course you're on? Throw a curve ball, see what happens and follow the aftermath."

"Wait, so you're saying Jones used you as bait?" Eagle chipped in.

Alex nodded.

"And you're okay with that?"

Again, Alex nodded.

"Like I said, I probably would have done the same thing. It makes sense."

"And that is why you are so valuable, Alex," a voice said. Jones. The other startled when she entered, but Alex didn't even flinch.

"Jones," he nodded. "I was right, then?"

She gave a nod in return.

"You were. Though I would never use the word 'bait'," she added. "I needed someone to make a grab at you again in order to reveal the chain of command we needed to follow after our trail went dead. We worked all summer trying to lay bare their network, but we were coming up short. So when you asked to go back to school, I knew it was what I needed to get things going again. They'd been too quiet on their end, and we were going to lose them. Throwing you back into the game gave us the wild card we needed."

She turned to Wolf, though this time she was carrying an apologetic look. Wolf had never seen her wear any kind of emotional expression on her face and was taken aback.

"I added your unit to the team, because I care about Alex. And I know you do too. Which is why I knew that when he was captured again, you would stop at nothing to find him."

"They could have killed him straight away, and we wouldn't have been there to save him!" Wolf spat back.

"You're right. They could have. It was a risk we had to take. But I had faith in my judgment in them, just as much as I had, and still have, faith in you."

She turned back to Alex, who was processing the new information. He looked back at her.

"I think I knew. I mean, I didn't think it outright. But a part of me knew it, somehow."

Jones smiled.

"Those are your instincts. You've always had them, but they've been honed and perfected through your experiences. And maybe I don't say it enough. But you ARE a magnificent agent, Alex. You stayed calm under pressure, and you came out on top, again."

Alex felt quite proud at the words of praise, though he didn't think he really stayed calm.

Wolf looked like he had more to say, but Jones asked everyone to leave the room for a debriefing with Alex. Begrudgingly, Wolf left with the others, but not before throwing an 'I'm not done with you yet' look at Jones.

"He's gonna want to talk to you more about this," Alex said to her.

"I know. I'm okay with that."

"You know, you could have told me about the plan. Actually, there were a lot of things you could have told me about earlier on. It could have prevented some misunderstandings."

Jones nodded.

"You're right. But I didn't want anyone to get wind of the plan. And just like we were tracking your movements, they were tracking ours. I had to be careful."

Alex thought it through, but he agreed with her sentiments.

"Ramsay?"

"Oh, we were on to him from the start. I take it you knew he was dirty?" Jones asked.

Alex nodded.

"That's my fault, for leaving out gasps in your initial debrief. I thought I'd get to it later, but never did. We'd let him go earlier this summer because we knew that tracking him would lead us to more information. I can't believe the CIA ever employed him. He got very sloppy, leading us right back to the figure heads of the cartel."

"Ruiz and Ortiz," Alex confirmed.

"Yes. Captain Ruiz is an important member of the cartel. He started from the bottom, as a ten-year old, running jobs for the local leaders. Until he killed them and took their places when he was sixteen years old. He rose up in the ranks pretty quickly after that.

Joaquín Ortiz is one of the founding members, and one of the only ones to elude imprisonment, until now. He was always on the business side of things, and no intelligence agency had ever been able to catch him red handed. Until he decided to interfere with you. We had a man in the room where you were held captive. It's how we got to Tom so fast, after they'd taken you away."

Alex shook his head.

"I don't understand. There weren't many people in that room," he said.

"The guard who popped your shoulder back in. He's in our pockets. Ruiz trusted him, but almost his entire family was killed by a rival from Ruiz. After that, the guard turned sides to protect his only daughter and he was glad to help us catch him. They are getting immunity, and we will grant them sanctuary so they can start a new life here. But not in London. I don't want to risk you ever having to run into him."

Alex nodded. While he appreciated the guard turning on his boss, he didn't think he'd ever want to face him again.

He relayed everything to Jones, from the moment he woke up until the moment they found him in the alley.

Afterwards, Jones thanked him for his service and wished him a speedy recovery. Upon leaving, Alex could see Wolf waiting for her. She turned back to Alex and smiled. She'd be fine, Alex reckoned.

A little while later, Lauren, his therapist, arrived.

She sat with Alex for a while, and they talked. It felt good to talk to her again, as she forced him to confront how he really felt about it.

It was tough to relive the fear he'd felt wearing that bomb.

But after their conversation, he felt a lot lighter. Lauren was pleased, and she signed off on getting him released, with the promise to see him again the next week.

Tom's parents picked him up together. Alex had waited with him for his parents to arrive.

For the first time in ages, it seemed like they weren't fighting. They had to sign a Non-Disclosure Agreement from MI6, after which Mrs Jones explained briefly what had happened. She didn't divulge Alex's former status as an agent. She simply said that it was connected to business from his uncle years ago, and that therefore they had targeted both Alex and Tom. Tom's parents bought it. They were just happy to see him alive and well.

After that, Jack and Wolf took Alex home, after they'd all said their goodbyes to the rest of K-unit, who would also be going home to their loved ones.

"So it's over now?" Jack asked tentatively.

Alex nodded. He'd talked this over with Jones, and she had assured him that they were tying up the last loose ends, but everyone of significance had been taken into custody. MI6 was willing to bribe the cartel to forget about Alex. The cartel was already cut off in their dealings in Europe. It was a major blow for them, but they would recover. MI6 promised to stay away in South America, if the cartel promised to stay away from Alex. They did. MI6 delivered Ruiz, as well as some of his henchmen, to Mexico, who had outstanding warrants on them. Ramsay would undergo trial in the UK. So would Ortiz, along with several of their UK connections.

\---

A week later, Alex was called into the prime minister's office. Alex hadn't realized how far up the chain it went, but arrests were made all the way up in parliament. It was international news, both for the sensational arrests, as for the outstanding way MI5, MI6, GCHQ, and SAS had worked together.

Together with Wolf and Tom, who had also been invited, and Jack, who came as a guest, they rode up to the minister's office.

Several members of the different organizations were there. The PM thanked all of them in a speech, applauding them for taking out the evils of their nation.

Alex almost snorted at this. For his part, anyone involved in politics was probably involved in some shady dealings.

And then came the ceremony.

"While none of this can ever leave this room, we felt like we couldn't let this pass. There will be no pictures taken tonight. And you will never be allowed to show anyone these, not until you retire. In normal circumstances, these would be handed out by the Queen. However, with her permission, we decided this should stay more covert," the director of MI5 said.

Several members of different organizations were awarded medals for their involvement in hunting down these terrorists, including Wolf.

"I know you're just doing your jobs, but I don't ever want you to feel like we don't appreciate you," the prime minister said.

Again, Alex called bullshit. The PM likely had no idea what they did, or what they sacrificed, to keep people safe.

Tom was given a medal of recognition for his part in the operation. He turned red and mumbled a thank you.

And then the PM called on Alex.

"I have seen your file pass my desk more times than I wished it would. I was happy to hear you were retiring to focus on academics. I am sorry for what happened to you. But for your outstanding bravery in the midst of impossible odds, I award you the Victoria Cross. I cannot think of anyone more deserving than you," he said.

Alex' breath caught in his throat. He looked over at Jones. Though her face seemed to be stoic, Alex could read it perfectly. She wasn't happy.

He understood why.

The Victoria Cross was an incredible honour.

It was also something that would put his name on a public list. He couldn't accept it. He couldn't _not_ accept it.

Luckily, Jones interfered.

"While Alex surely deserves the honour, as his employer, I cannot let him be listed on a public receiving of this medal," she interrupted.

"Yes yes, I understand that," the prime minister waved her away. "There won't be any record of him receiving the medal, unless he chooses to tell someone. Though I recommend he doesn't do that. This was pre-approved by the Queen herself," he added.

Alex swallowed.

This had just gotten a little bit bigger than he could fathom. He stepped forward, accepted the medal, and gave the PM a nod.

And then he handed the case over to Jack, who put it in her purse.

"It doesn't exist. No one will ever know," Alex told Jones in a cold voice. She nodded at his reassurance.

The prime minister was puzzled by their reactions, but the director of MI5 and several other agents grunted in approval.

Wishing to end this mysterious evening quickly, the PM finished his speech. Alex was itching to get out of there, and nearly dragged Tom and the others out of there.

"Thank god that's over," he said. "It's a school night, for fuck's sake. Couldn't he do this on the weekend?"

Jack burst out laughing, and Tom looked at Alex incredulously.

"How are you even thinking about school right now?!" he asked.

Alex just gave him a smile.

He didn't reply.

That night, before going to bed, Alex looked out his window. The street was quiet. Aside from the ceremony tonight, he was settling back into his old life. He was figuring out ways to deal with his difficult teachers, keeping up with his homework and making plans with his friends.

Life was okay, again.

Alex didn't have a feeling of dread lingering anymore. He had a long-term plan. Finish his A-levels, take on a job at MI6 while doing online university classes. Get a degree.

But first, he had another mission.

See, there was this girl he liked. And he was determined to get her.

Alex smiled.

It was the best mission he'd had so far.

_The end_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD! This is it, the end! It's been a long time coming, I've been writing this story for 2 years now. I have ideas about another potential sequel, but I am not sure yet if I will write it, and if it'll be a similar length as these last two stories. It now totals 50k+ words, which I am honestly so happy about. Thank you for reading, commenting, and generally showing love for this story. And thank you Anthony Horowitz for giving us such an incredible character and world to explore.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is finished now. It's been quite a ride. I hope you enjoyed it! Let me know in the comments what you thought. If anyone has any prompts, scenes or sequel scenes they want to see, let me know! I'd love some suggestions!


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